Deadly Desires
by Lili Locket
Summary: With Bella away at college, Edwards longing for her return is short lived. He finds himself drawn into a world of danger, lust and blood. Can Edward tame the inner beast that is clawing it's way free?
1. Chapter 1

Edwards Pov…

I could feel her already; sense her impending closeness, in just 24 hours my love, my Bella would be returning for her first weekend break from college.  
She had been in Seattle for a month now and it had been the longest month of my whole existence, and that's saying something given I'd been alive for a total of 104 years.

Of course I could have visited her, a run to Washington wouldn't have taken me more then a couple of hours, but we had agreed she would settle in first, she would do her best to meet new people, make friends. Well when I say we had agreed, it had been more a case of me telling her that was what she had to do.  
Bella wanted nothing more then for me to be with her every night; she had even suggested that we got a place together in Seattle, desperately trying to convince me that she didn't really want to live in the dorms anyway.  
Luckily though I knew what was best for her, even if she didn't.

Although I had missed her with every fiber of my being, part of this brief separation felt right, I don't know if it were the relaxing feeling of not having to worry about the varied forms of danger she was always in whilst around me, or if it might be the fact that I had more quality time to spend with Emmett and Jasper. It just felt like this was going to be really good for us, although I'm sure Bella didn't see it like that. She was so damn stubborn, sometimes it took all of my patience and determination to get through to her.

Bella's father – Charlie had called me last night and asked that I be at the house to welcome her home today, and to make sure that I brought Alice with me. He informed me of his plans to put up banners and balloons, wanted to make a fuss of his little girl as he had so enthusiastically put it. I knew instantly that Bella would hate that, she detested anything that would put her in the spotlight, but being the kind hearted, selfless person she was I also knew that she would thank him and appreciate all of Charlie's efforts.

Sighing I impatiently leaned against the glass doors that lead out to an expanse of wilderness and brilliance of green out the front of my parent's home. Carlisle and Esme weren't my actual parents of course, but they had guided me on the right path and I respected and loved them both as any son would their mother and father.  
Sometimes I would catch Carlisle glancing at me, a guilty expression cast over his angelic face. I know that he still blamed himself and carried around a burden of regret for turning me, however I was grateful that he had. Without him my life would have been over before it had really had a chance to begin, and I'd never have met Bella, a life without her didn't even bare thinking about.

As I deliberated in the best way to remove Alice from the house, I looked up and noticed her elflike frame gliding down the winding staircase. She jumped down the last two steps and landed at my feet as her critical eyes glanced over me.

"Edward you're not seriously considering wearing that…are you?"

Looking down I flicked my eyes over my navy blue fitted sweatshirt to my black straightcut jeans and converse.

"And do tell me what exactly is wrong with what I'm wearing sister dear"

Instead of answering me Alice scoffed and breezed past me out to my car that sat in the driveway. Narrowing my eyes I stared after her and waited for her echoed thoughts to enter my head.  
My head jerking up as I met with her eyes.

"A stuffy, boring old man! You think I look old?"

Frowning at me Alice pulled impatiently at the door handle as I stepped closer, key in hand.

"Edward would you quit invading the privacy that is my head! And yes now that you ask I do think you look old and stuffy and totally boring. Now open the car already"

I spent the frustrated journey glancing over towards Alice, then back down my body as I tried to control my speed, that was one of the most challenging obstacles we had to overcome. Being a vampire of course came with many daily challenges, but detaining our speed and strength was one of the most infuriating.

Charlie was stood waiting anxiously at the door as I pulled into Bella's usual spot in front of the house.  
I groaned as the array of multi colored balloons as they flapped about in the wind, it looked like a party shop and thrown up all over the outside of the house, Bella was going to just die.

"Edward, Alice I was expecting you sooner, Bella's gunna be here any minute, your cutting it real fine. It's nice to see you both though, guess I'll be seeing a lot more of you now Edward, now that Bell's back"

I smiled as Alice leant gracefully forwards and placed a soft kiss against Charlie's stubbled cheek, an instant heated flush swept over his rugged face as I noticed the blood pumping furiously throughout his body. Charlie had always harbored an innocent crush on Alice, if only he knew she in fact was his senior.  
Stepping after her I firmly shook Charlie's hand, but allowing him enough prowess to have the stronger grip.

"Yes Mr. Swan it's very good to see you again, and I am sorry we're late"

Gritting my teeth I practiced my methods to block out his thoughts, I may be a vampire, a killer even but I continued to be a gentleman through all of that.  
Charlie's words amused me though; little did he know that I had seen him everyday since Bella's departure. One of the last things she had made me promise was that I would look out for her father, obviously not in a way that he would realize, but discreetly.  
And I had fore filled Bella's request, waiting until the early hours of every morning I had traveled to the Swan residence and watched over the house, after all I had nowhere else to be as the rest of the world rested, and being there made me feel closer to her and our memories that rested deep within the walls of the house.

The Balloon and streamer massacre only increased the further I stepped inside and as I raised my brows and watched Alice flit about, making slight adjustments, the familiar smell pulled at the senses toward the back of my throat, my skin prickled and my body responded to its calling as I instantly found myself outside, my controlled and maintained breathing now halted as I sucked in the air and tasted her scent as it trickled through my mouth.

Snapping my head up I felt the familiar pull at the side of my mouth as she flung open the rusted truck door and clumsily flew towards me, dropping her jacket as she neared, I felt myself instinctively sweep her up and hold her to my cold body, the warmth of her soaking through our clothes as the sweetness that was her flowed throughout me.  
Her voice a melody as it licked about my ears.

"Edward, oh Edward you're here, your holding me and you're here"

I felt every sense inside me spring to life as her body molded against mine, moving my mouth hungrily over her jaw as I flicked my tongue over her soft ear lobe, the taste of her skin set my mouth on fire.

"Yes love I'm here, I'm never going to let you go"

Grabbing her hand I squeezed gently and took a moment to re-accustom myself of her scent and the constant pulling against my hungered lust whenever she was near me. Maintaining myself about her caused me no end of suffering and agony, but I had chosen to suffer through, she was worth it.  
Jerking her head towards the house she mumbled.

"Is it as bad as I'm expecting?"

Pulling her towards the front door as I leaned my head over her and pressed a light kiss into her hair, breathing in the fragrance of melon and strawberries I whispered my answer.

"Oh my love, its worse"

Groaning as she slightly pulled against me, I grinned wickedly before sweeping her up into my arms and fireman lifting her through the door, before setting her down again.  
Just as she made to move forwards and set about acting surprised and grateful I held her close to my side, brushing my cool lips across her neck as I murmured against her.

"I don't think I've told you yet, you look beautiful and I love you"

Just as she opened her delicate mouth to answer Alice raced forwards, eloping Bella in a tight hug as they both cried tears of happiness.  
Charlie and I just looked on, both enjoying the heartfelt reunion as I allowed my controlled thoughts to slip, his thoughts consuming me.

Of course he was right, Bella had made the right choice in going but this didn't stop the ever-growing sense of loss we had all felt whilst she was away.  
The most concerning about my drop in defense as I listened to him was that suddenly I realized my longing for her, my need to be with her didn't even touch or come close to how much Charlie had mourned the loss of her presence.

What did that mean? Did it mean I didn't love Bella as I had once thought!


	2. Chapter 2

Edwards Pov…

I sat patiently, hands resting on my lap as I smiled towards Bella sat cross legged on the floor, tucking stray strands of auburn hair behind her ear as she bit nervously against her lip. Alice sprung in front of her and sat, legs bent underneath her as she handed over a perfectly wrapped small package. Bella glanced up at me, a tinge of anger in her hazel eyes.  
Holding up my hands in defence I answered her unasked question.  
"Don't look at me, I had nothing to do with it. This is all Alice, I told her you didn't want a fuss" 

Before she could protest any further, Alice gripped onto Bella's hands, turning her palms up as she rested the gift gently down. Gazing desperately into Bella's eyes Alice worked her innocent charm.  
"Bella please accept it, I just saw it the other day and instantly thought of you. It'd be a crime for you not to have it. Pleeeeease!" 

Exhaling deeply Bella leant forwards and swiftly placed a soft kiss against Alice's cheek. Her fingers working carefully against the paper…we'd had a misshape with paper cuts before, and I could tell Bella was trying to avoid this from happening again.  
Gasping Bella traced her finger inside the small red velvet box before gently lifting out a silver chain, hanging from the bottom her initial B, circling it a heart. 

Her eyes sparkled, I'm not sure if it were with happiness or tears, but either way I could sense that she was overwhelmed.  
Throwing herself forwards once more, Bella clutched Alice tightly to her chest, whispering into her neck.  
"Oh Alice its perfect, beautiful in fact, thank you I really do love it" 

I smiled weakly as they continued to chatter excitedly about Bella's dorm friends, her lessons and Alice's recent adventures over her summer break in Europe. Bella seemed engrossed in conversation with Alice as I stood, making my way outside to collect Bella's bags from the truck, I hated the fact that she drove around in something so unreliable, but She had always refused whenever I broached the subject of me buying her a new car, nothing fancy…just something slightly newer then this heap of rust. 

Slamming the door shut I turned to see her huddled in the doorway of the house, pulling her plaid shirt tighter across her stomach she gazed over at me, something was wrong with her stance, the flow of her blood, beating of her heart. I realized though it wasn't just her where problems lay, it was us…something was wrong with us, all this time apart and I imagined this moment so many times in my head, her coming home, the ecstatic sense of relief I'd feel as soon as she were within my sight. But instead of relief I felt nothing but confusion and anxiety. 

As I drove Alice home (of course she could have run a lot quicker, but Charlie wasn't to know that) she spent the whole journey singing inside her head, singing the most frustrating song, frowning at the road ahead I growled at her.  
"My god Alice enough already with the tuneless thinking I'll stay away from your mind ok! Clearly it's something you really don't want me to hear" 

I speedily pulled into the drive as her slight voice drifted over my ears, her hand resting on my forearm as she looked at me, nothing but concern pouring from her eyes.  
"Edward its not that I'm trying to keep anything from you because I want to, I'm just.. Uh.. Not sure how you'll take it, and to be perfectly honest I don't know how to digest it myself" 

I snapped my head around, allowing my eyes to travel over her face, she was ashamed of the visions that had entered her head. Concentrating on her unspoken thoughts I allowed it all to sink in, I could feel the shocked expression spreading over my face as I swallowed deeply.  
Throwing open the car door I used more force then intended as it flew off its hinges, I thundered into the house, Alice closely following behind as she reached out, gripping hold of my wrist.  
" Edward we need to talk about this"  
"No Alice we really don't, now please let me go, I want to be alone" 

Her grip tightened as I felt every muscle in my body tense up, I didn't want to hurt her, but I knew if she didn't let me go I'd not be able to control myself.  
Turning I prepared to unleash my fury on her imprisoning grasp when I looked down into her concerned face and suddenly I felt my anger disperse. She couldn't help the visions that imposed themselves on her, just as she couldn't help what was going to happen.  
Looking down towards the polished marble floor I murmured despondently. 

"How could it happen? Alice I don't understand why… how I'd do that to her! I love Bella, she is everything I live for" My voice was shaking now, developing into a low growl.  
"I won't do that to her Alice, its not going to happen. Your wrong, you must be. Maybe your I don't know…broken!"  
I'd turned away from her now, stepped towards my piano as I leant forwards onto it, my knuckles turning white from there vice like grip against the edge of the black mahogany.  
Her voice lowered, almost as if she were comforting a child as I felt her hand lightly run across my back. 

"Edward I don't have any explanations for you, I wish I did and I'm not broken. What I saw is correct and you know as well as I do that it will most likely happen, as much as neither of us don't want it too, there really isn't anything we can do to prevent it" 

I spoke my voice low and pained as I held myself still.  
"I don't want to leave her Alice, I don't want to" 

I felt myself pulled towards her now, my face burred into her shoulder as I allowed the tears that had threatened my eyes to fall.  
My body shaking as she soothed me, trailing her fingers through my hair. 

"Sssshhh brother it's going to be ok, we'll deal with it, we will I promise" 

I stayed in my room until dark, wanting to keep myself away from the rest of my family as they arrived home, the last thing I needed at the moment was their thoughts interrupting my already throbbing mind.  
I changed my sweatshirt for a dark blue button down, sitting back on the leather sofa which faced my array of music and books, I rested my head back and closed my eyes as the music drifted through me, the notes touching my very core. 

I waited 4 more hours, until the sun had finally set, dusk turned into twilight as I flew from my window, gliding toward the Swan residence. I'd decided in my hours of waiting, not to allow Alice's thoughts to invade my head anymore, I would prevent it from happening, somehow I'd stop it, whatever it took.  
But then I wondered, was the way I had been feeling lately a build up to this tragic event that would see me walking away from her? leaving all that was good and worthwhile in my life.  
There was no further time for questions or thoughts as I arrived outside Bella's bedroom window, she had left it open for me as per normal practice.  
She was sat up on top of the bedcovers, my eyes drifted down over her milk white, soft legs as I noticed the grey hot pants and tank she was just about wearing.  
Her breathing was heavy, not as controlled as normal as I stepped closer, closing the already little distance between us. 

The closer I got, the harder It felt it to refrain from reaching out and touching her, feeling the warmth of her skin against my hands as they explored her, the softness of her lips against my own.  
Something was changing, my throat tingling, body shaking lightly as I felt my every nerve ending being pulled against, I didn't like this I was usually so contained, kept myself in check. But now as she sat before me, delicate and fragile I wanted to consume her, this was stronger than the initial hunger I'd felt for her that very first day I had laid eyes on her. This was something else, something stronger and less controllable. 

I took hold of the last fragments of my strength and willpower and found myself jumping from her window… racing through the expanse of trees until I could no longer taste her at the back of my throat, until I no longer craved her blood.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you for your reviews and taking the time to read. All reviews gladly received._

Edwards Pov…

I continued running all night, not taking in the scenery around me as each blur of green passed me by, I had stayed within the woods, making sure I kept in our boundaries of the treaty, I felt every animal that roamed within the darkness. Smelt its fear and desperation to cling onto the territory it had claimed, holding on against the deadliest creature of them all…me! 

I had automatically hunted and fed as soon I'd made my frantic escape from Bella's bedroom window. The unsuspecting young deer wouldn't have felt much as I ended its life in one swift movement, my jaws clamped about its neck as I momentarily ended the thirst attacking my body.  
It wasn't like any other feeding I'd had before, the desperation for Bella Had driven me into a hungered lustful frenzy.  
Leaning against the solid damp tree trunk I basked in the rare silence, my head was normally a buzz of activity, of thoughts and more often than not they weren't even my thoughts. Of course over my many years I had learnt to control and tame my gift, and around Bella I didn't even have to try, her mind was closed to me. I should have been relieved about that, the problem was Bella was the only person I wanted to read, and I needed to know what she was thinking. 

Looking up I noticed shards of sunlight creeping in-between the twisted branches above me, sighing deeply I removed myself from my stone-like stance against the tree and travelled home, today threatened to be a gloriously sunny day, not the kind of day a creature such as myself should be taking a sprint in the forest.  
I knew Alice would have already told my family of yesterday's activities, of her visions. I also knew each of them would have their own opinions on it all.  
The closer I came to home, the stronger and more intense my family's thoughts became. 

Carlisle was disappointed in my inability to handle the situation in a mature manor, he thought me reckless.  
Esme was as usual concerned for my safety and wellbeing, I regretted that she had never been able to have children of her own, someone that caring and neutering should have been blessed with children.  
Jasper and Emmett shared pretty much the same thoughts on the subject, they wished I would realise that Bella was no good for me, for our family. As much as they liked her, neither of them truly believed we were meant to last.  
Alice was devastated, she felt a huge burden of guilt over what she had seen, and she felt as though it was her fault, almost as if she was the cause.  
Rosalie's thoughts were the most surprising of all. She felt an immense sense of pain and compassion for how I was feeling. 

As I breathed deeply and stepped into the house I found myself being pulled into a relived embrace, holding myself still I allowed Esme to hold me, her kind hearted voice sweeping across my ears.  
"Oh Edward, Alice told us I'm so sorry" 

Twisting away from her I composed myself, fighting against the urge to break down once again, I couldn't allow myself to do that anymore.  
Holding Esme's gaze I flicked my eyes up as they fell over the rest of my family. Each of them struggling against the want to tell me what they thought I should do, their thoughts crashing through me at 100 miles an hour.  
Clenching my jaw together I snapped the answer to all of their questions.  
"I will not be leaving Bella, what Alice saw will not be happening and it is not up for discussion" 

Before anyone could respond I skulked from the room, leaving them stood an expression of concern and disbelief displayed over their faces.  
As I'd predicted Alice was the first to check in on me, I spoke without lifting my head from the book resting against my lap.  
"Come in Alice, it took you longer than I expected" 

She stepped cautiously over the threshold of my doorway, they all knew how I protected the privacy of my room, each time anyone entered they hesitated almost afraid as to how I would react over their sudden intrusion into my sanctuary.  
Sitting down on the rug in front of me, her legs bent to the side as she glanced curiously at me, Alice finally spoke.  
"So you're really going to push all of this aside then, you think that you can avoid it?" 

Sighing I placed my book, spin facing up onto the bed. Leaning forwards I looked deeply into her eyes, feeling my vision clouded by frustration and determination as I barked my response.  
"Yes Alice I do think I can avoid it, you really think Bella and I have been through everything we have, for it all to fall apart? I know that we are stronger than that and I can make this work, I won't ever leave her no matter what your damned visions tell you" 

I'd hurt her feelings, the pain poured from her amber eyes as her head dropped towards the rug beneath her, tracing a fingertip lightly over the edge as she whispered.  
"What did you get her for her birthday?" 

Frowning I stood as my mind worked a million times quicker than normal, I held onto the front of my head as realization hit me, like a smack in the face.  
"Oh Alice! Her birthday! Its tomorrow isn't it? Damn I completely forgot about it! I guess you're going to read something into that too?" 

Alice stood swiftly as she vanished from my room. She returned almost as quickly as she had left and was holding a large perfectly wrapped black sparkly box, a velvet ribbon tied over the top.  
"What's this?" I questioned, as Alice handed me the large flat box.  
Biting against her bottom lip before smiling uneasily she replied.  
"Well it's your birthday gift to Bella I kind of guessed with all of the excitement over her coming home it would slip your mind. So I brought something for you to give her just in case" 

I felt a sudden rush of love and deep affection for my younger sister now as I leaned forwards, my frame towering over her as I laid a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Thank you Alice, um what is it?"  
Giggling she pictured an image of the dress in her detailed mind; I absorbed every inch, every delicate detail and smiled. Bella was going to love it.  
Her image now projected onto me Alice stepped back towards the door, a cheeky smile playing at her lips as she sung.  
"Maybe she can wear it to dinner tomorrow night… I booked you a table at her favourite Italian" 

Chuckling at her forthrightness I placed the box onto the sofa and moved closer to her, my smile replaced by frown.  
"Does that mean you're going to support my decision?"  
"I don't agree with you denying it's going to happen, but you're my brother Edward and I'll support you no matter what. I just hope it ends the way you want it to that's all" 

The truth was I didn't know how it would end, but I had to be confident that Bella and I would still be together, because no matter how confused my head was about her and our complicated relationship, I did love her, she was the only person that understood me and I couldn't let that go, I just couldn't. 

Making a firm decision I grabbed my mobile from its place on the couch, I stood arm folded across me as I stared out over the wilderness spread before me, my phone pressed to my ear until she answered.  
"Bella It's me. Yeah I know I acted like a total crazy person last night, I'm so sorry. Um yeah I agree, I just left it a little too long to hunt. Listen can I come over later tonight? I want to give you your birthday gift" 

Pacing back and forth I thought back to last night and my violent hunger for her, I just hoped that tonight I'd be able to control myself.


	4. Chapter 4

_It makes me so happy that so many of you are reading this __ all constructive reviews welcomed._

Edwards Pov…

I changed into a clean pair of black jeans and grey tee, I had kept Alice's comments from yesterday in mind, it was bad enough knowing I were 104 years old, let alone being told I dressed like it too.  
I used the cold night air that swept past me to clear my head, it felt like a thousand voices screaming at me, the one time I usually felt peace and sanity was when I was running. Not recently though, even away from everyone their voices still rang loud and clear through my mind.  
I slowed my pace now as Bella's home came into view, her scent began to hit the back of my throat, swallowing deeply I controlled the violent hunger Tucking the box under my arm I swiftly swung through her window. She was sat at her computer, her hair pulled back into a scruffy knot on top of her head, that glorious soft skin at the nape of her neck exposed. Swallowing and pushing back my needs I stood watching her for the briefest of seconds before she realised I was there and spun on her chair to face me. 

I lowered my eyes from their fixed stare over her neck, from the vein pumping furiously beneath her porcelain skin.  
Her small frame was swamped in a pair over oversized sweatpants, I allowed my eyes to travel further back up her body, over her white tank that cloaked her supple breasts as I watched them rise and fall with her shuddered breathing.  
Nibbling anxiously against her bottom lip she stood and stepped closer to me, closer…until I could taste her sweet breath, my eyes locked with hers as she stared curiously into me.  
Reaching out she lightly traced her fingers over my jaw line, resting them underneath my chin as they moved down and against my neck. The sudden closeness of her was intoxicating and I wished I knew why.  
It was almost as if every sense inside my body was fighting against me, trying to tempt me and lure me.  
Growling inside my head I took hold of myself and stepped slightly back as I reached under my arm, taking the box and handing it out to her. "What's this?" She questioned, her brow raised. "Well if I'm not mistaken someone is 21 now and I think I've a lot of making up to do" 

Smiling uneasily she took the box from me, her eyes falling down onto the bow then back up to mine, she breathed deeply, her soft lips moving into a brilliant smile as she moved over to the desk situated against the far side wall. Placing the box down she turned to look at me once more, her eyes sparking.  
"Can I open it now?" 

Chuckling at her excited question I nodded and stepped back, sitting gently onto her carefully made bed I leant forwards, face held in my hands as I watched the paper being slowly ripped away from the gift.  
"Bella stop being so cautious, it's a present you're supposed to tare the paper off my love, not treat it like a fragile kitten" 

Taking heed of my advice she suddenly ripped frantically at the paper until the silver box was exposed, she gently lifted the lid and a short gasp fell from her lips as I watched her lift the dress free and turn to face me, holding it in front of her body.

"Oh Edward it's beautiful, really beautiful. Did you pick it all by yourself?" 

I stood and stepped closer to her, the closer I got the stronger that burning sensation became, biting it back I gritted my teeth together and forced a smile.  
"Well I uh can't take full credit, Alice did help me choose" 

Before I realised what was happening she moved closer to me and I found my urge to strong to restrain any longer. Reaching about her slender waist I pulled her against me, the feeling of her breasts pressed against my chest caused a deep wanting that I couldn't control as I laced my hand tightly into her hair, moaning at the sense of power I had, my eyes burned into hers with lust. A predatory growl released from me before I hungrily moved my mouth against hers, she wanted me, and I could feel her needs flowing through me as our kiss deepened.  
Suddenly before I could think about stopping myself a deep animal need took over and I dropped my mouth roughly down her neck, flicking my tongue out as I tasted the salty sweetness of her skin.  
I heard her whimper somewhere in the distance of my head, it wasn't a pained whimper though…she was enjoying this, she wanted more. 

I felt my jaw un-lock, my preparation to fix down against her skin as a sudden voice swept through my head.  
"Edward what are you doing? You don't want to do this!"  
Sucking in a frantic breath I pulled back, the hunger burning in my eyes as I gazed into the deep pools of yearning that were her eyes. Reaching forwards I stroked against her cheek.  
"Bella I…uh should go"  
She looked confused and I understood why.  
"Oh! It's just you've not spent much time with me since I've been back…won't you stay?" 

"No Bella not tonight, I can't do that. I'll come pick you up this evening, we can do whatever you want, I promise"  
She nervously bit against her lip again, her eyes falling from mine and at the floor as she whispered.  
"Well a couple of girls from college live nearby, they're um.. Going to a new bar in town and asked if I might like to meet them there for my birthday. Can we go?" 

I couldn't think of anything right now Id less rather do, the thought of being in a room full of hormonal humans set my senses on edge.  
But as I watched the hope slowly falling from her face as she read my expression, I replied without actually thinking through what I was saying, without realising the implications it would have on the rest of my life.  
Reaching up and lifting her chin to face me I smiled.  
"Yes love of course we can go, I'll pick you up around 9:00? I'll leave you all to Charlie today, he has plans for you."  
Sensing her panic at my words I smiled reassuringly. 

"Don't worry Bella, it's not a surprise party, you've nothing to be worried about"  
Reaching her mouth up to mine she kissed me lightly before whispering.  
"I'd much rather spend the day with you, kissing you…maybe collecting more birthday presents from you"  
I grabbed her hands now, before it went too far, before I couldn't pull back again. Kissing her fingertips lightly as I whispered.  
"Goodnight Bella, happy birthday"  
I faintly heard her murmur "I love you Edward" as I flew from her room.  
I'd almost lost control tonight, and that inner fight with myself was only becoming harder every minute of the day.


	5. Chapter 5

Edwards Pov…

As I arrived back home Carlisle was sat at the glass topped dining table, his hands folded on top, face set in a frown. He looked up as I pulled out the chair before him, slowly sitting I waited for him to speak.  
"Edward I know I don't need to tell you what I'm thinking right now, but I think you need to acknowledge what Alice has seen, you can't keep pushing it to the back of your head, pretending she didn't show you what would happen"

I continued staring through the frosted glass, taking in every detail of the granite patterned flooring below, I'd just about counted 1056 pieces when Carlisle reached across the table, his hand encased over my own.  
"Son! Are you listening to me?"  
I couldn't avoid this conversation anymore and lifted my head, my eyes meeting against his.  
"Carlisle you know how lost I was before she came along, everything about her has changed me. I fail to accept that I'll not want her anymore…how is it even possible?"  
"I don't know Edward, I wish more then anything that I could give you the answers you crave. I'll support you though with whatever decision you make, We all will…but you already know that"

I forced an appreciative smile and stood, I respected Carlisle to much to actually tell him that I didn't want his words of wisdom or advice right now. I couldn't exactly admit to him that just a few minutes ago I had almost fed off my girlfriend, that I'd wanted nothing more then to devour her, to taste her.

Safely inside the sanctuary of my room I closed the door put on some music and switched on a lamp, even though the hours were of early morning, the sky still held its husky darkness. Stepping over to The first of my busy shelves I stroked my finger along the many worn binds that sat facing me. I selected a red covered diary and settled onto the leather couch.  
I wasn't really sure what I was hoping to find amongst the many pages of my life, the first diary written after I had been turned.  
Maybe it was answers I were seeking, somehow I believed searching into my past would help. Surely though reading about him, about that Edward couldn't possibly help. I was a far cry from that monster.  
Carlisle always tried to convince me since that period in my life that it was ok, every Newborn rebelled and at least I hadn't hurt innocent people.

The men I'd chosen as my victims weren't helpless, they weren't worthy of the lives they had been blessed with. Rapists, murderers, men that prayed on the weak. The frightening truth was that I'd enjoyed every moment of it, the look in their eyes as the life was drained from them, and I made them look at me, made them stare deep into my black eyes, I took pleasure in the fear that exuded from them. I wasn't getting any answers from delving into my grim past, this wasn't going to tell me why I uncontrollably craved Bella's blood all of a sudden, why Alice had predicted me abandoning her, abandoning our relationship.  
I couldn't concentrate on anything, there was a strange almost pulling feeling at the back of my mind, it felt as though I should know what it was, what was causing it, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't work it out.

I was standing, my head leant against the glass partition that lay between me and the vast expanse of trees before me. Visions of Bella flashed across my mind, the sight of her steady flow of blood pumping beneath her skin, the rhythmic beating of her heart as it pounded against her ribcage.  
And that smell, oh the mind numbing, sense provoking smell of her blood, if I breathed deep enough, sucked the air about her to the back of my throat I could almost taste her rustic sweetness, and it was like nothing I'd ever tasted before. I wondered if perhaps that was because the only human blood I'd tasted belonged to the evil men I had killed, it'd never belonged to anyone so sweet and innocent such as Bella.

I only realised how long I'd been stood wallowing in my own self pity as I noticed that the heavy sky had darkened, the trees surrounded by sudden dark mist. The day had disappeared before my unknowing eyes and I still didn't know what I was going to so, still had no answers and I felt no better about the situation of my mind.

I could hear Emmett's car flying down the road, the shrill of Rosalie's laughter, their souls may be damned for eternity but at least they had each other, their love, weather it be the same as human love, helped them through each and everyday. The communication and understanding that they shared was enviable.  
I thought the same of Alice and Jasper, even carsile and Esme.  
It was true I had Bella, and I did love her, it wasn't the same though, she couldn't possibly understand my daily turmoil. I know she wanted to, I'd lost count of the times Bella had begged and pleaded with me to turn her, to damn her to a life of darkness and hunger.  
We had reached a compromise though, she would see through College, continue leading a relatively normal teenage life, she would allow her parents the joy of seeing her maturing to a young woman, because after I'd turned her she'd not be able to see them, possibly never have contact with them ever again.

Sighing deeply I glanced at my watch, it was 8:30, I'd needed to take a shower, get changed and make my way over to pick Bella up, and I couldn't save time by running either, Charlie knew I'd be taking her out for her birthday, so the car would have to be used tonight.  
Dressed in a black button down shirt and dark grey slacks (of course Alice helped choose) I sped down the bending tree lined roads, deciding against music I drove in silence.  
And as I pulled up outside, Bella glanced from her bedroom window, a brilliant smile displayed over her face. I stayed sat in the car, engine running. I should have called for her, gone in and said evening to Charlie, but I couldn't bring myself to be civil and polite tonight.

A thought struck me as I watched Bella leave the house and cautiously totter to the car, she wasn't blessed with much grace and looked totally uncomfortable and on edge wearing tight black skinny jeans a tight tee and knee high boots.  
I wondered if it wasn't Bella's blood I was craving, if maybe it were the company of another creature such as myself. Perhaps what I needed, what I was missing from my life was a mate, not human but vampire.

I sucked in my last deep breath as Bella's overwhelming scent filled the car, turning in the seat to

face me she smiled nervously and bit against the inside of her mouth.  
"Do I uh look…ok?"  
Smiling reassuringly I leaned across and lightly swept my lips over her cheek before pulling back slightly to hold her gaze.  
"Bella my love, you look beautifully uncomfortable"  
Frowning she looked away from me to stare out of the window.  
"Does that mean I look terrible?"  
I took her warm hand between my own And tugged on it gently until she turned to face me once again.  
"No Bella it means you look beautiful, but not at all comfortable with the way you look. You're the most beautiful to me when you lay sleeping peacefully, a shard of morning light spreading over your body, your hair messed about you on your crumpled pillow. Then your perfection"

That gorgeous awkward smile filtered over her mouth now as she sighed contently.  
"I'll never understand how it is that you always know just what to say"  
I chuckled confidently.  
"It's all part of my seductive charm my love"

I kept conversation up for the whole journey, not wanting to allow myself enough time to think about the warmth of her blood pumping viciously about her soft body as she sat shoulder to shoulder against me.

I groaned inwardly as we pulled into the busy parking lot outside the vast bar, its shining, flashing neon light screamed trailer trash and slut heaven.  
I still couldn't quite work out why Bella of all people would want to spend any long period of time here, this was so unlike her. Normally she'd of preferred to spend the evening alone, just the two of us, I might have even been able to convince her in allowing me to take her out to dinner.  
But I guessed she had changed, college and the new friends I had forced her to make did change her, and it was what I had wanted after all, I wanted her to live like a normal young teenage girl. And this is what today's young teenage girl enjoyed, much to my disgust.

The thudding music caused my inner ear to feel as though it were being set on fire, the beat tortured me, but I'd go through the experience for her, for Bella.  
Hand rested attentively on the small of her back I guided her through the large double doors.

Instantly as soon as the scent hit me I realised it wasn't young teenage blood that were calling me, it was something stronger, something that caused the animal within me to spring to life. I could feel my every hidden urge and desire taking me over and I liked it, whatever it was that was causing this lapse in character, was satisfying me and I found myself desperately wanting more.


	6. Chapter 6

Edwards Pov…

The room seemed to be spinning, I tried my hardest to focus on one still object, and this was made more difficult by Bella's tugging at my arm. A low growl escaped me as I lost control for a split second and pulled Bella back, gripping onto her wrist, my fingers felt as though they had melted to her skin.  
"Edward whaa...what are you doing? Edward please you're hurting me, let go!"

Finally I managed to control the spinning and myself, turning to face her I was appalled with her expression, the fear that showed so obviously over her trusting face, her eyes wide as they stared back at me, dragging my eyes from hers I gazed down at my hand, the bulging of my knuckles against my flesh and the unrelenting grip I held over her fragile wrist. Inwardly reprimanding myself I managed to loosen my grip just enough for her to pull her arm free, my frame bent towards the floor, I stood and watched her from under ashamed eyes.  
Her wrist held protectively to her body as she stood biting nervously against her lip, her eyes never left me, and finally I strangled out weak words.  
"Bella I…I'm sorry, I don't know what come over me, I'm so sorry" 

In true Bella style she instantly forgave me and stepped closer, my recent aggressive actions had obviously bared no scars on her as she traced the backs of her fingers across my cold face, down my jaw; I waited holding my breath until they finally rested underneath my chin. Drawing my head up so that my eyes were level with hers she whispered.  
Edward its ok, I should have known better, I know what sudden movements can do, it was an instinctive action and you've nothing to be sorry for" 

I'll never understand why she stood by me, constantly put her life and heart on the line for me, but I'd come to the conclusion that it was something I'd never understand so there was no point in torturing myself in trying to work it out.  
"Bella please stop making excuses for me every time I do something wrong. You might see me as perfect, but I can assure you I'm far from it. And that look of fear you had in your eyes for those few seconds, it should be a natural look for you to express whenever you're around me. Bella I'm dangerous and I've lost count of the times I've tried to make you see this.  
See that was it, all it took for me to almost crush your bones into dust were you doing what any normal, excited girlfriend would do to her boyfriend when she had spotted her friends in a crowded bar. I've just given you the perfect example of how very little it takes to make me lose control" 

I watched and waited as she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, her brows furrowed into their confused line, this face was often followed by Bella telling me how I didn't understand how she felt, that I was pitying myself and I should stop telling what she should or shouldn't want. But instead of giving me the usual speech she kissed me, she took my breath away and then smiled.  
Taking my hand gently in hers once more she nodded towards a red leather booth towards the back of the busy dance floor, and whispered.  
"Edward neither of us are perfect, none is. Now let's go and join Tara, Kelly and the guys. Let's for tonight be a normal couple and have fun" 

Before I could protest any further I sensed 5 pairs of eyes staring at us, they'd seen us and there was no chance of avoiding the forthcoming situation, well not unless I wanted to be known as Bella's weird antisocial boyfriend, my plans for her normal College life would be wrecked then.  
Returning her smile I allowed her to lead me, stepped behind her almost as if she were shielding me from them, or maybe she were shielding them from me. 

I stood back and allowed Bella to greet her friends as she were pulled into a close hug by first the brassy red head, whom Bella addressed as Tara, and then by the strawberry blonde petit and less rowdy Kelly.  
Much to my annoyance the attention for the birthday girl didn't end there, I felt my fingers gouging into the wooden table top as The first of 3 bold and cocky looking guys wrapped their arms about her, the last of them holding on a lot longer than necessary. I was just contemplating which of his fingers I'd snap from his hand first as Bella spun and rubbed my arm gently, hooking her hand through as she giggled and announced my presence.  
"Kelly, Tara, Daniel, Owen, Scott… I'd like you to meet Edward, my boyfriend" 

I felt like a puppet and Bella was my human mistress as I found myself acting in the way she had requested and pulled back my strength long enough to shake each of their hands, planting a soft kiss on the back of Tara and Kelly's hands. I noticed Bella rolling her eyes as she noticed their willingness to be taken in by my dazzling charms, winking over at her I pulled her ahead of me so that she could slide into the booth between Kelly and me, I positioned myself on the end, it was hard enough maintaining my human pretence here, without feeling as though I were caged like an animal. Although when you think about it I was a caged animal already and it seemed like lately my inner beast was desperately clawing its escape from me. 

I listened attentively, touching Bella just the right amount, smiling in all the right places and laughing at their pathetic and childish humour. I realised that Bella was more different to the sheep of humans then I'd ever given her credit for. They were all Bella's age if not older, yet not one of them said any single thing that even tweaked my interest. Their conversation was mindless garbage and their voices a constant whining in my ears. 

I noticed Bella's drink emptying and took hold of her hand, squeezing affectionately as I collected her glass and asked the others if there was anything they wanted. Daniel and Scott pointed to their beer bottles and winked idiotically.  
I attempted to smile and weaved my way through the winding sweat covered crowd on the dance floor.  
It was pure torture not only the fact that I was surrounded by heaving young fresh blood, I could sense the warmth of it flowing around me and my mouth tingled with wanting. Swallowing against it I stopped at the safety of the bar and caught the eye of a pretty raven hair bartender as she winked in acknowledgement of me. I realised that I'd have to do something that irritated the hell out of me… and wait!  
Turning and leaning against the bar I kicked frustrated against the metal pole that supported a curved barrier between the bar and the lower level dance floor, the music in here was torturing me to my very core.

Just as I sighed and leant forwards against the shiny cheap chrome of the rail I felt every hair on the back of my neck stand, my throat instantly throbbed and I could feel the most violent and uncontrollable pulling sensation, it was the same feeling I'd had the moment we stepped through the doors, only a million times stronger.  
I could feel the bar bending beneath my fingers as I crushed my hands about it, my shoulders aching from strain as I pushed down, attempting to pour all of my sudden lust and thirst from my body.  
Looking up mechanically I gasped, every muscle in my body locked, my craving consumed me.  
The sea of bodies parted as she captured me, everything I'd tried to control and keep hidden was instantly undone.  
Her face partly covered by a curtain of deep chocolate waves as I watched her head lash about, her hands snaking down over her breasts, down her hips as she caressed against the exposed skin of her stomach. Every delicious inch of her curvaceous body calling me.  
Suddenly the constant connection I had with Bella was lost, the calling of blood from the young gyrating bodies dispersed as all of my attention flowed between us. 

I knew what she was, my throat detected the difference in blood, her movements sharp and distinct, I'd never felt this strong craving for another vampire before, every part of me ached for her.  
Her seductive smile captured me as she moved closer, her hands continuing to travel back and forth across her stomach, down onto her thighs as they left the material the short, figure hugging skirt, flowing back up again as I watched her fingertips trace down between her breasts as they swelled above her plunging top.  
I groaned as my erection strained against my jeans, her body now before me, grinding her ass against me, the only separation between us were the chrome bars, but I could feel her, every touch against me burned through my clothes as I felt her skin spark against mine.  
Lust and wanting burning in my now black eyes as I reached down lacing my fingers into her hair, I caught a low hissing as I tugged roughly, jerking her head back as she continued grinding against me, her ass moving in deep circles, the friction between us was tearing my composure apart.  
Before I could even attempt to stop myself I found my head bending, licking against my lips as they parted, lingering above her throat the thirst and passion taking over.


	7. Chapter 7

Edwards Pov…

I felt every muscle inside my body tense, a deep tugging towards the back of my throat as my connection with her was regained. Bella was worried, frantic even and suddenly something snapped me back to the false reality I'd created for myself.  
Forcing myself to move away from her I turned just in time to see Bella, her hand held desperately in her mop of silky auburn hair, pushing it back from her forehead as she searched about, trying to find me.  
As I moved away, my hand lingering on the solid cold bar in front of me I felt the strong current surging through me once more, jerking my head around I caught sight of her hand restraining me, leaving her mark as she sunk blood red nails into my flesh.  
"What's wrong? Don't you want to play anymore?" She whispered a seductive and mesmerising tone to her voice. 

I fought with all of my rapidly dispersing resistance and snatched my hand away, covering the lower part of my face with my reclaimed hand as I attempted in blocking out her scent, trying to home in on Bella, to forget this wicked temptation.  
Not allowing myself to catch her eye I stood side facing her and bent my head towards the floor, my eyes concentrating on the various splatters of blood deeply ground into the black sparkling tiles.  
I knew if I allowed her eyes access to my own, all attempts in resisting the deep urges swimming through me would be instantly lost.  
Forcing out a low growl I replied through gritted teeth.  
"I don't play games, certainly not with creatures such as you and me. Can I suggest that you leave here quietly and that you stay away from me?" 

As I turned, not allowing her time to respond I froze at the husky sound that swept over my ear, causing my skin to prickle and my throat to contract.  
Holding perfectly still I felt the currents between us once again come to life.  
"Oh I'll leave, but please don't be so ignorant as to believe I'll leave you alone. We have unfinished business, now hurry along to your little human pet and I'll be seeing you" 

Flinging my body around I opened my mouth to respond and found myself gazing into the empty space ahead of me. I shouldn't have been surprised, disappearing happened to be every Vampire's speciality and she was no exception to the rule.  
Before I had the chance to compose myself I swallowed back Bella's scent as her hand rested lightly and cautiously on my shoulder. She had obviously not forgotten about her earlier experience of taking me by surprise. 

Forcing myself to face her I smiled through gritted teeth and leant forwards as I forced my lips against her forehead, her worried expression etched deep within my mind as I took hold of her hands, preventing her from twisting her fingers together any harder, before she caused herself permanent damage.  
Looking up at me as she chewed frantically against the inside of her mouth she spluttered out a mixture of words.  
"I... uh... I was worried and you didn't come back Edward... You… you didn't come back, you always promised you'd come back"

Unlinking my fingers from hers I lightly placed my hands either side of her face, instantly feeling the burning heat penetrating into my palms as I circled my thumbs over her cheek bones.  
"Sssshhh love I'm here, there was a long wait, and I got distracted by the… what do you call it? Music?" 

Frowning up at my sarcastic remark she covered my hands with her own and moved closer to me, her brow raised as she slowly licked over her bottom lip, the taste of her breath flowing over my mouth.  
I prepared myself once more for that unbearable lust as her lips brushed against mine, suddenly I found myself pulling her tighter against me, all of the sound and busy drunken thoughts dispersing.  
The feeling of her body brushing against mine stirred those buried wants and needs once more as I allowed myself to harden against her.  
Pulling back suddenly she gazed up at me, biting mischievously against her bottom lip as I gasped, the feeling of her small hand gripping tightly over my throbbing member as she caught a shaky breath and gazed deeply and wantonly into my eyes. 

I'm not sure how I prevented myself in not throwing her to the floor and taking her that very second, how I managed to stop myself from sinking my teeth into her flesh, from satisfying that painful hunger. 

"BELLA" I growled, my eyes burning deeply into her as I lowered my hand over hers, pulling her grip free from me, the feeling of my sudden release causing me to shudder, A low rough growl escaped me as I took her hand tightly within my own and lead her back to the table where only 2 of the previously large group remained.  
I needed to escape here, to clear my head of the mindless chatter and drunken wants of every hormonal person slurring and stumbling there way about. 

Looking directly at Kelly I smiled my most charming smile and purred. "Bella and I should probably head home, it's getting late and I promised her father we'd not be too late"  
Glancing at me confused Bella smiled at Kelly and Scott, her hand gripping tighter against my own as she echoed my words.  
"Yeah it's getting real late, and my dad is such a worrier" 

I stood back, releasing Bella's hand momentarily from my iron like grip and allowed her to say her goodbyes.  
Kissing Kelly lightly on the cheek I took in her thoughts, this is something I'd been trying to avoid doing all night. And I wasn't surprised in the slightest at what was flying about her head.  
_"Oh fuck he's amazing! If I were Bella I'd be riding him all the way home"_

Avoiding eye contact with her I leant forwards and took Scott's hand between my own, holding back every ounce of strength I had as I allowed him the upper hand and winced at the feeling of his grip over me.

His thoughts polluted my mind as I stepped back, placing my arm about Bella's waist lightly.  
_"Too much of a pretty boy, not enough of a man"_

Smiling inwardly I guided Bella towards the exit, feeling the air pushing against me made me only more desperate to escape the constraints of the club, desperate to feel the silence of Bella once more.

My body gave up on me suddenly as I halted, watching Bella unknowingly continue towards the car.  
I realised in that moment, there had been another time this evening that I had relished in the unusual silence, that time had been with her, in that moment of pure animal lust that we had shared it had been silent, the only thoughts to enter my head were those of my inner monster, his wants and needs consumed me.


	8. Chapter 8

Edwards Pov…

The journey back to Charlie's had been uncomfortable, deathly silent and almost painful. I should have said something, broken the stillness, but there was nothing I could think of.  
Bella sat still, her gaze directed out of the passenger window as I glanced across at her every couple of miles. Her hair hung like a protective cloak over the side of her face, blocking out any chance of me reading her expression.  
I could almost taste the tension building inside her.  
The silence was even more deafening as the low rumble of the engine ceased. Moving my hand to her seatbelt I clicked the release and eased the strap from her, she didn't move, just sat staring through the window, her hair still separating us just as it had that day in class. I couldn't take my eyes from her then, and spent the whole torturous lesson struggling against my hunger, desperately attempting to control myself, and now it felt like we had travelled back in time to that day, my hunger this time more wild.  
Reaching up I swept the hair gently from her face, tucking it carefully behind her ear as I noted a lone tear tumble down her cheek, moving my hand from her hair I brushed my thumb out catching it.  
Not wanting to distress her any further I whispered as softly as I could manage.  
"Bella, what is it? What's wrong? Bella it's your birthday, you shouldn't be upset" 

Forcing a failing smile she turned to face me, the little make-up that had clung onto her face now gone and that beautiful innocence was all that was left.  
She lifted a shaking hand to her face, viciously wiping it across her tear stained cheeks as she repeated my earlier action and pushed a handful of hair behind her ear.  
"It's just been uh... A strange couple of days that's all Edward. I feel like I've hardly spent any time with you since I came home, and whatever time we have spent together is I don't know… tainted by something!" 

I felt the sudden rush of guilt pouring through me, the deeply regretful feeling knotting at the very pit of my stomach as I found myself unable to meet her eyes, instead staring almost through her and out of the window. At this moment in time the dark seclusion and emptiness of the trees, the forest seemed to be calling me; it was the only place I felt at ease lately.  
I knew though that I couldn't avoid this conversation any longer, Bella wanted answers and I'd have to give her some… even if they weren't the right ones.  
Finally allowing my eyes to meet hers I tried to soften the hardness of my face as I spoke.  
"Can I meet you in your room? We can't sit in the car all night"  
Nodding she lingered her hand the door handle and murmured before exiting the car.  
"Give me half an hour" 

Sitting back I rested my head against the headrest and forced myself to think of what I'd say to Bella, how I'd handle this situation. It was funny really, you'd think after all these years, all my time and experience living I would have eventually figured out how to maintain a normal state of mind, there shouldn't be any type of situation I couldn't deal with. And yet here I was, sat outside my girlfriend's house like a stalker creep, waiting to sneak through her bedroom window and convince her that my recent selfish and unusual actions were not her fault. The truth was I failed her time and time again.  
Pulling the keys roughly from the ignition I shut the door and flipped up into the sturdy tree positioned outside Bella's bedroom window. Sweeping quietly into her room I found her perched onto the end of the bed, her clothes now changed into pale blue bed shorts and a white tank, I took in the swelling of her breasts beneath the thin material I counted each deep breath that she

Took, her face dipped towards the floor, resisting the urge to look up at me.  
Part of me wanted so desperately to step forwards and take her into my arms, to tell her everything was going to be ok and I'd look after her. But then I knew the biggest part of me wouldn't be able to resist the deeply penetrated need to take her.  
Staying in my position by the window I fixed my eyes against her hands as they twisted together, she knew something was wrong and I couldn't avoid this any longer.  
"Bella I know you're confused, you want to understand what I'm thinking, I've been distant with you and that's unfair of me" 

Stepping closer I held my hand pushing back through the front of my hair holding my scalp as I attempted in squeezing out the right words. My head was buzzing with images of her subtle body gliding against me, the throbbing between my legs and the thirst in my throat. She was intoxicating and I still felt her.  
It didn't help that I could still hear Alice's words echoed in my mind, her warning of what was to come and then the finality in her voice as she told me it was unavoidable. 

Suddenly Bella was standing before me. Looking up from under my brow line I swept my eyes over her body, every curve and line of her was challenging my resistance. Reaching up she brushed her fingertips gently across my frowning eyes, massaging away the lines gathering on my forehead as her sweet breath flowed over my mouth.  
"Edward I understand what you're thinking. I know better then you realise, because I feel the same, I want the same. Edward you're the only one that can make all of this better" 

Looking up suddenly, a confused expression displayed on my face I held my hand forwards, placing my palm against her stomach I slightly pushed against her body, feeling the shuddering of her beneath my touch.  
"You know what I'm thinking? How could you possibly know Bella? You must be disgusted with me"  
Dropping my gaze once more I waited through the silence for her response.  
"Edward, why would I be disgusted with you? I want it Edward, it's not like you'd be doing it against my will. I want nothing more than to spend an eternity with you, and I want it to be you that does it. Edward I'm ready now" 

Throwing herself forwards onto me I felt myself snap, she understood nothing, this was all about her! It was always about her and what she wanted. No matter how many times I'd explained my reasons for not wanting to change her!  
Pressing both hands against her stomach I pushed back, watching her stumble and fall back onto the bed.  
And then I felt it! That hidden hunger rose to the surface, threatening to spill over as I fixated on her helpless state, laying back. Her cream skin contrasting against the deep purple, velvety bed cover, I noted every soft angle to her, the very breath leaving her was filling the room with a delicate essence and my throat contracted, I could almost feel my teeth aching against my mouth.  
At that precise moment she were a lamb to the slaughter and I her predator. 

Backing away with a sudden found strength I gripped tightly onto the weak, wooden window ledge behind me, I felt it begin to crumble beneath my heavy touch.  
Sitting forwards she furiously tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ears; this only heightened my thirst as I flicked my cool black eyes over the softness of her neck.  
I had to get out of here, explanations would have to wait, and if I stayed in this room with her for a second longer I'd rip into her flesh and drain her of every ounce of blood.  
I managed a low, throaty whisper as I continued back, until I only had one leg inside her room.  
"Bella I'm sorry but I have to go, I'll come and see you tomorrow, we'll talk I promise" 

Rising rapidly from the bed she ran over to me, digging her nails into my thigh as I made to leave.  
Her usually soft voice now containing anger as she hissed.  
"Edward! You can't keep running out on me! Do you not think we've been through enough together, for you to at least be honest with me!"  
Shaking my head I pushed her hand away and lowered myself further out the window.  
"Bella I'm keeping my distance for your own good, one day you really might understand" 

Before she could respond I flew into the air and carried myself home, hoping to sneak up to my room without interrogation.  
Swinging through my open glass bedroom door I was startled by the lamp suddenly turning on, a vision of Alice sat legs crossed on the couch.  
Sighing angrily at my invasion of privacy I stormed past her and to the closet, grabbing a grey t-shirt I began un-buttoning my shirt, my back facing her.  
"So mother how long have you been waiting for me?"  
Her fluid voice filtered through the edgy atmosphere.  
"Don't be smart Edward! I was worried about you. We all are. So did you have a good night? Bella have a nice birthday?" 

Groaning I threw my shirt to the floor, pulling the tee over my head. I'd forgotten it was her birthday in all the madness of the night, and now she was left confused and upset on her birthday of all days. It seemed I made a habit of fucking up this particular day.  
"Alice stop the small talk, what you really want to know is if I told her yet! And the answer to that question would be… No, I didn't. Now it's been a really long night and I want some peace… please!"  
Sighing lightly she swept past me, pausing in the doorway as she murmured.

"She's going to be trouble Edward! Real trouble. Forget about it now before it starts"


	9. Chapter 9

Edwards Pov…

Throwing my book across the room in a frustrated rage I stood and began pacing back and forth. Since the tension in Bella's room and the lecture Alice had bestowed upon me I felt like a caged animal. The walls of my room seemed to be closing in on me.  
And that's when I heard it.  
The voice didn't belong to Alice, Rosalie or Esme, it was smooth and yet husky, the words echoed clearly through my mind, almost as if whomever it belonged to was in the room with me. 

I stopped and reached forwards, taking hold of the wooden carved frame of the bed I'd brought for Bella, I could feel the mahogany wood disintegrating beneath my fingers as I concentrated on the distant words, they echoed about my head penetrating to my core.  
_"I need you Edward. You felt it too I know you did, you know where to find me"_

Turning slowly I looked out, towards the vast stretch of wilderness before me. Suddenly I felt it, the burning starting at the very pit of my stomach, suddenly my throat ached, a heated sensation surged through me and my weakening hold diminished. Gliding through the open window I swept through the trees, not stopping to consider what I was doing or what was happening. I only knew one thing, I had to satisfy myself, and somehow I had to rid myself of this deep craving. 

Holding myself still amongst the winding branches I stalked it, my body gracefully carrying me to the next tree as I waited, fixing my stare to its timid moves, it knew I was there of course and it was only a matter of time until its life came to a desperate end.  
Throwing myself forwards I felt the young deer's body squirming beneath me, its heartbeat pounded through me, until I sunk my teeth into its neck, feeling the vein popping my teeth penetrating. The satisfied feeling momentarily spreading through my body as I allowed the warmth flow freely down my throat, tearing further into the tough flesh I buried my mouth into it, animalistic moans rumbling from deep within me.  
I couldn't work out what it was but something about this execution excited me more than anything had in a long time. It could have been the drawn out stalking of my prey, or maybe the violent end I brought upon it, perhaps it was the taste, but whatever It was something felt different and I found myself wanting more. 

Snapping my head up as I heard the branch snap, I opened my senses and worked out it wasn't another animal, neither was it a human…but something was here with me, I wasn't alone  
Suddenly there was that voice again, it wasn't so distant now. There was still the echoing but not within my mind, it echoed amongst the trees like the whispering of the wind.  
"I knew you'd find me, I'll be honest you weren't the easiest mind to break through, you do put up barriers don't you….Edward!" 

I could feel my eyes burning as she emerged from behind the cover of a large disfigured rock, her hand trailing slowly caressing the hard exterior of her hiding place. Raising her brow suggestively as she moved closer, her steps cautious but yet confident.  
I moved my eyes over that curvaceous frame once more, drinking in every last detail of her as my throat filled with the taste of her scent. She didn't taste like any Vampire I'd ever come into contact with before, she tasted almost… human!

Standing slowly as I dropped the limp, drained body of the deer from my lap, I hunched over slightly, taking a defensive stance as I found her mystical eyes holding gaze with mine.  
I felt my body shudder with another overpowering sensation, this time not one of blood lust. There was a deep aching within my loins; I felt the blood rushing through my body, towards the throbbing between my legs. Every want and need inside me suddenly surging forwards, threatening to expose me. 

Steadying myself as I reached out, placing my hand against the damp bark of a nearby tree I narrowed my eyes and finally found my voice, rugged unrecognisable words leaving me.  
"Who the hell are you? Why are you doing this to me? I mean… what do you want?"  
A slow and wicked smile crept upon her lips as she stepped closer, I could almost feel her deep breath brushing over my face now as she stopped and reached up, tangling her hand through the mop of full bodied velvet like hair as she twirled a section about her finger.  
"Oh look at you... Such a messy eater, but I must admit the sight of blood smeared over your mouth, watching it slowly drip down your neck is thrilling me in every way possible. Would you like me to help clean you up?" 

Swallowing deeply I backed away from her until I felt myself against the tree I'd been so desperately clinging onto.  
Of course the sensible thing would have been to go home, to tell my family of the encounter, and for us to set about tracking her down and finding out her reasons for being here.  
But I didn't want to; I didn't care why she was here. The only thing on my mind at this very moment was the feeling of having her so close to me, the taste of her within my mouth, she was slowly intoxicating me and I revelled in every aching second of it. 

Suddenly she was there, her mouth just inches from my own as her sleek tongue trailed across her bottom lip, the sharp edge of her teeth slightly visible as I not only heard her words.. But now I felt them too.  
"You don't look very satisfied Edward, let me help you out with that" 

Before I could compose myself, before I could even fathom what was happening I found the body of a woman being thrown against me, her head being thrust to the side as a mop of long blonde hair was swept away, leaving access to the peachy skin of her neck, her vein throbbing wildly beneath the surface as she whimpered softly, it wasn't a scared whimper, more of a knowing and wanting whimper.  
"I got her for you... She's a gift. Isn't she just luscious Edward? Why don't you have a taste? Just a sip, sample her sweetness, give in to what you want" 

Swallowing desperately I looked away, the feeling of her human warmth pressed against me as she whispered though a shaken quiet voice.  
"It's ok, I want this... I want to give myself to you"  
Slowly moving to face her bare, plump neck once more I hissed through my now open mouth, flicking my eyes past the young girl, towards the restraining figure behind her I held onto the cool lustful eyes as my teeth sunk through the soft exterior. My teeth sliding into her flesh like a knife through butter, the further in they sunk, the more she shuddered, painful yet pleasured moans

Leaving her as I found her throbbing vein.  
The popping sensation causing my mind to explode as her delicious, warm, sweet blood gushed into my mouth.  
The sight of my feeding obviously exciting my new female companion as she moaned deeply, I felt her hands snake about the waist of my supply of fresh blood as sharp nails clawed down my stomach, tearing at my shirt.  
Sucking harder, deeper at my victim as I felt the life pouring from her into me, each soft breath further and further apart until she was no more, I'd taken everything from her in one vicious moment and my only regret is that I'd not done this sooner, that I'd not given into my needs, and lived as I were meant to. 

Before realisation could hit me I felt her tongue flicking desperately over the wound I had made, the swift movement of it spreading over my mouth as I released myself, I allowed my tongue to meet with hers, both of us hungrily licking the final traces of blood from the empty lifeless shell that slumped against me. 

I felt the weight of her being pushed away from me as she fell to the ground. My feeding partner now positioned before me as her hands forced their way down my chest, gripping against the steel hardness of my cock as she whispered against my mouth.  
"I can do things for you none can, Edward I can take you places you've never been, and I'll give you more pleasure then you've ever known" 

Grunting against her mouth as I sunk my teeth into her lip, I asked the only thing that my destroyed brain could pull together.  
"Who… Uh… who are you?"  
Her response trickled into my mouth.  
"My name is Charisma. And Edward I'm what you've been waiting for" 

I gave myself to her then, everything I'd ever know drifted from me and that deeply hidden creature rose from within me, there was no stopping him now and he would take whatever and whoever he wanted.


	10. Chapter 10

Edwards Pov…

I hadn't known what to do, where to go! My head was a flurry of confusion. My usually controlled senses heightened as I felt her blood coursing through my veins, its innocence now tainted by me.  
Charisma had left after our feeding, whispering promises that this was not the last I'd see of her. I could still hear her enchanting voice now as I sat in the refuge of a tree, overlooking my home. I couldn't go in yet and darkness was slowly descending. I knew that my family would want to make the most of this time where they no longer had to be cautious of sunlight.  
Just as I had predicted they glided from the house, Alice's faint laughter could be heard echoing about the trees as they flew unsuspected past my place of sanctuary. 

I waited until they were out of mind reading distance and swung swiftly through my open bedroom door, the room just as I had left it.  
I noticed my phone lying on my oak finished study desk, I'd not spoken to Bella since last night, I knew she'd of contacted me, there would no doubt be a barrage of text messages waiting from her. It was infuriating really, she questioned everything I did, my motives constantly needing to be explained. I just guess that's the punishment I get for choosing to be with a human; she wasn't the same as me. Bella's morals and values differed to mine, more then I'd previously realised.  
And now I was beginning to understand why my family had initially been unsure over our pairing. Emmett had been right all along, I needed to be with one of my own kind. Bella would never truly understand me, I'm not even sure I'd ever understand myself. 

Reaching forwards for my phone I sifted through the 10 messages from her, they started out fairly calm and collected, however the further I read the more frustrated and frantic they became. The last ending in her informing me that she would be coming to see me tonight if I hadn't gotten back to her right away. Sighing I tossed my phone onto the bed.  
Well I'd done it now…she'd no doubt be turning up shortly and I'd have to pretend everything was ok, I'd have to convince myself that the yearning to throw her down onto the floor and drain every last drop of blood from her sweet body wasn't what I wanted.  
It had always been manageable before now, before what I'd done this afternoon, and now I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself, it was no longer a case of wanting to resist her, now I didn't want to. 

Stepping into my generous en-suite bathroom I saw myself for the first time as I gazed deeply into my reflection holding within the large mirror hanging before me. Of course I'd looked at my outer exterior many times; I'd stared at the lie.  
This time was different though, this time I was seeing the real me! No longer was the expression of forced normality. The true monster that I was stared back at me, the deep black eyes, splatters of dried human blood surrounding my mouth, trails of blood emblazoned over my neck and shirt.  
This is who I was, I'd just been denying it for too long and now the padlock to that side of me had been unlocked, there was no containing him again. 

Turning on the water I gathered a handful and splashed it over my face, breathing deeply as I inhaled the delicate odour of blood as it trickled down the sink, the trail of deep red disappearing just as it had from her body. The look of complete trust and innocence in her eyes still visible before me as I relived every delicious second. 

That wasn't the only thing I remembered though, Charisma's touch still lingered over my skin, her marks still present upon my chest and the taste of her! If I closed my mouth she was still there, the feeling of her tongue sweeping over mine as I'd allowed the warm liquid drip from my mouth and into hers. I'd fed on humans before, but never had I done it with another, sharing had been a new experience for me. 

Raising my head I allowed my eyes to once again drift over my features, the mask had been dropped and there was no way I could continue here, my hunger would continue to betray me, the more I ate the worse it would become, until eventually I'd be completely lost. Even now I was only holding onto a small fraction of the man I'd learnt to become.  
My family didn't deserve to go through this, it would kill Carlisle to see his once precious son a thirst driven monster. And Alice, what it would do to her was unfathomable. She would of course blame herself for not seeing this coming. That however was something I couldn't quite understand. She'd seen me walking away, leaving Bella and she'd sensed the intrusion of Charisma into my life. But not once had she suggested I would take a human life, although if I was honest with myself I don't think I would have been able to stop myself even if I did know. What had happened today was a long time coming and now I'd given into my craving I felt satisfied, truly satisfied for the first time in my miserable existence. 

Unbuttoning my shirt I walked at a slow human pace back into the bedroom, dropping my shirt to the ground I reached into the closet and took out a black t-shirt. As I pulled it over my head. Sighing deeply as I pushed my hand back through my hair waiting, my back turned to the large windows in my room as I heard the rustic rumble of Bella's truck pull up.  
I stood watching her delicate frame appear from the driver's side, her flame hair bouncing as she strode out of view, around to the front door.  
The thought of being within touching distance of her caused my mouth to water and my head spin. I knew Bella tasted good, although at the time, after James had bitten her, my main concern had been to withdraw the venom from her weak body. The taste of her blood mixed with the acidy intrusive taste hadn't registered with me. But now as I thought back to that night I could taste her, every delicious particle flowing down my throat and I wanted every last drop that she had to offer. 

Nothing could have prepared me for the deep aching need that pulled violently at me, as I opened the door. Bella stood chewing at the inside of her lip, her eyes burning with disappointment and determination as she unfolded her arms and made to push past me. I couldn't have her within four walls, trapped with me!  
Reaching out my left arm I gripped securely onto the heavy doorframe.  
Gasping she stopped suddenly, her eyes averted towards the cold concrete floor beneath her as she sucked in her bottom lip, so obviously a desperate attempt not to show the hurt and rejection my move had caused her. 

Still staring towards the floor she spoke softly, her voice nothing but a shaking whisper.  
"Edward I don't understand…is it something I've done wrong?" 

It was my turn to focus on the floor now as I felt her tearful eyes slowly rise she looked pleadingly at me.  
Gritting my teeth together I growled my response. I had to make this short and to the point, because every second I spent this close to her was diminishing my already weakened resistance.  
"Bella you really should try and break out of that habit"  
Stepping slightly back she folded her arms across her chest, almost as if she were protecting her delicate human heart.  
"Stop what?"  
"Thinking that every damn thing is about you, that every mood I'm in is caused by your actions. Really Bella it's rather frustrating, you're not the centre of my world you know. And believe it or not I did manage to exist before you!" 

I managed to stop myself, sucking in a breath as I finally met my eyes with hers. The usual hazel warmth now replaced by a watery sadness. The worst part of my apparent torture of her was that instead of hating myself for hurting the woman I apparently loved, I was revelling in the feeling of power and control I had over her heart.  
Swallowing deeply she stuttered her response to my insults.  
"So… what are you saying Edward?" 

Although I knew deep down the more she exposed herself to me, the greater chance there was that I'd devour her. I still couldn't cut my ties completely with her, not yet. And this meant I'd have to play it cool, if I were going to drink from anyone I wanted it to be her, and scaring her off now wouldn't do me any favours. 

Pulling back as much of my dwindling humanity that I could, I smiled weakly.  
"I'm not saying anything Bella. I just need some time, you being away for so long as really knocked me, I guess I have to adjust to controlling myself around you again. I mean you know how hard it is for me"

This had worked, I noticed a slight smile play at her lips as she held her light grey jacket tighter across her body and stepped back down the step.  
"I'm sorry Edward, I'm expecting too much from you again, I've a habit of doing that. I think it's just that sometimes, things seem so good between us, so normal… I uh… almost forget what you are, what you have to deal with and I'm sorry." 

Nodding slowly I licked my tongue slowly across my lips as she made to turn away from me.  
"I'll call you Bella, I promise…Everything will be normal again soon"  
Faintly agreeing with me, she walked away, her shoulders now slumped as she slammed the groaning truck door. I waited rooted to the spot until I could no longer hear the rumble of the tired engine.  
Back safe inside the constraints of my bedroom I paced back and forth, waiting… for what I don't know. 

My back turned to the clear transparent glass surrounding my room I felt the brush of cold air sweep over my neck, the atmosphere suddenly turning electric as that delicious sound swept over me once more.

"Hello lover, are you ready for me?"


	11. Chapter 11

Edwards Pov...

My skin prickled the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I didn't need to turn and face her of course; my body sensed already who it was.  
Swallowing deeply I pushed my hand frantically through my tousled hair, holding it through the back as I turned my head slightly and suddenly she was there, her mouth inches from my ear as a soft whisper swept through me.  
"So Edward tell me, did you miss me?" 

Composing myself I turned slowly, my eyes meeting with the icy glare of her as a slow, sure smile crept over her face. Something deep inside me took over and I removed my hand from my hair, gripping roughly onto her wrist as her body crashed against mine. My body cried out for release, the aching had consumed me and she was the only one that could stop it. 

Sucking her lip into my mouth I felt her hands trailing round behind me, nails clawing against the thin material of my t-shirt. Pulling back I gripped tightly into her long hair, my fingers tangling through the silky strands as I forced her to face me. The satisfaction clearly displayed over her face as she licked slowly across her plump lips.  
My teeth clenched I growled my response to her earlier question.  
"How can I miss someone I don't know?" 

She teasingly traced the tip of her forefinger across my mouth, bravely dipping it inside as I parted my lips slightly.  
"Oh Edward, I think you know exactly who I am. The only thing torturing you is that you want me and your fragile, false human ways are fighting against it. Is it her? Is that pathetic waste of skin what's stopping you?" 

I waited...waited for the feeling of immense anger and natural protection towards Bella, the feeling didn't come though. Instead I found myself seeking entry to her thoughts, she was right I did know who she was, but I didn't know what she was doing here and what she wanted with me.  
A frown developing over my forehead as there was nothing, only a blank empty hole. It wasn't like the feeling I got with Bella. The emptiness with her was warm and bright; I could feel her willingness to show me, to let me see.  
With Charisma the blankness was never-ending and I could feel myself echoing about in her. 

Tugging on her hair I threw her back against the leather couch, waiting until her body made contact with the cool leather before I straddled myself over her. Placing my hands either side of her head as I looked deep inside, there was still nothing, just a desperate animalistic hunger.  
"How the hell are you doing that? Tell me!" I demanded, my fingers sinking through the leather material as I noticed a sly smile display across her blood stained lips.  
"I have no idea what you mean Mr Cullen, but oh how I love this aggressive dominating side to you. Why don't you punish me? Take out all of your frustrations, we both know you want to" 

Moving myself closer until I could smell the intoxicating fragrance of blood over her lips, I felt my control slipping and failing as my tongue flicked out and licked back and forth over her mouth, I could taste the trace of blood.  
My body moulded against her as she allowed me control, I knew her strength could match mine with ease, but she liked this. Playing the demure and submissive excited her.  
A low moan fell from my mouth as I pulled back slightly. As much as my body craved her and my inner beast begged for allowance to take her, I still needed answers.  
"Your mind! How are you clearing your mind? And earlier before when we..."  
"Devoured that sweet young girl?" She answered, her tongue flicking out over my lips. 

Her words causing me to flinch "Yes before then I could hear you, your voice was inside of my head!"  
Looking away a slight frustrated almost angered glaze over her eyes as she pushed me back, rising swiftly to her feet she moved away, stopping before the open window.  
"You've been living disguised as a pathetic human for far too long Edward. Any normal vampire wouldn't be able to see past the need for blood, but you! All you seem to care about is her and anything that might affect her. Do you honestly think that she is going to stick by you forever?"  
I stood fixed to my position in front of Bella's bed, my head dipped toward the floor as I watched the solid wooden move with every step she took towards me.  
My body convulsed as her fingers swept underneath my chin, tilting my head up until I found myself in contact with her seductive gaze.  
Her voice fluid as I inhaled her sickly sweet breath.  
"Edward she can't handle this, your worlds apart and I think deep down you know that. You can't even deal with the distance now can you? Her being away at College, it's too much for you. Let her go Edward and realise for once what's best for you. Not Bella or your family but for you" 

Her anger seemed to subside slightly as for the first time I noticed her icy demure melt. My eyes travelled over every prominent angle of her face, her penetrating grey eyes searched deep within me.  
I felt my stomach clench with a sudden ache, the blood had worked its way through my core and the hunger took hold of me once more, now I'd fed there was no stopping it. My body was no longer my own and the decision had been taken away, the blood now my drug.  
Stepping back away I distanced myself from her; I couldn't concentrate as the desire and lust for blood and for her pulled against me as my trembled words fell out.  
"So are you going to answer my question?"  
"Edward you and your sister...Alice is it? Well you're not the only Vampires in the world to posses mind manipulating powers you know" 

The sound of Alice's name, of her saying Alice's name ignited something deep inside as I felt a ball of fury breaking free. I realised something at that moment, as I roughly took a handful of her hair, pulling until I could feel her lips slightly touching against mine. I'd not reacted like this at the mention of Bella; shouldn't I have wanted to protect her?  
Or now that the monster had taken over me, was the only compassion I felt towards my fellow species?  
I managed a low growl as I snarled, bearing savage teeth.  
"You don't talk about my family, none of them! They are no business of yours Charisma, you have no place even thinking their names, do you understand me?" 

She smiled smugly, her enjoyment of my sudden onslaught of anger clearly exciting her, this wasn't what I had intended. Tugging harder as I wrapped her hair around my wrist I jerked her head slightly.  
"Say it! Say you understand Charisma" 

Smiling almost satisfied she nodded slowly, her tongue pressing lightly against her sharp teeth. I watched as a slow trickle of blood ran down her tongue as she pressed harder, her sharp fang penetrating the soft exterior of her tongue as she watched me, waiting for the need to take over me once more.  
I couldn't stop myself and threw myself forwards against her body, both of us crashing against the storage units, trailing the length of my wall. An array of cd's and books falling to the floor as I pulled her forwards, pushing back again, my excitement growing with every moan that left her.  
Suddenly I found my lips pressed against hers, taking the blood soaked tongue into my mouth as I sucked desperately, tasting and savouring every drop as it trickled down my throat.  
A sudden thought flickered through my mind as I moved my mouth roughly against her soft lips. 

"_I wonder if it's happened yet, if he did it last night! But then surly I'd of heard from Bella"_  
"Alice!" 

Pulling back I pushed Charisma towards the window she'd entered my room through.  
"What the fuck are we doing Edward? You really do need to make up your mind, because I don't play games"  
I could feel a frantic panic setting in as she stood her ground, I'd have to make some kind of promise to her.  
"Listen Charisma I can't do this here. I'll meet you, where we were earlier...in the woods. Be there 2 hours before sunrise" 

She gazed over my shoulder, her eyes averted to the trees as I noticed a slow smile creep over her lips.  
Bringing my body with a thud against hers I felt a rugged growl erupt from me.  
"NO! You will not be here at the same time as them. Your right ok? I can't be with Bella anymore, I can't pretend to be something I'm not and damn it! Because of you I don't even think I can be here with them anymore" 

This seemed to satisfy her as she turned her back towards me and without word disappeared into the trees ahead.  
As I prepared to face them, provide Alice with the answers she would be seeking, my head was disturbed once more by a faint whispered voice. 

_"You've decisions to make Edward, don't take too long now will you! I don't wait patiently"_


	12. Chapter 12

_Thank you for reading, it makes me so happy people are enjoying this._

Edwards Pov...  
I kept myself away from them, staying hidden within the walls of my room. I felt like a caged animal, our home was nothing but generous in size, and yet everywhere seemed to be closing in on me. Perhaps this was due to my split personality consuming me, although there wasn't much of the real me left now, He had made sure of that. The blood thirsty creature inside held the cards now and He was enjoying the game.  
Gazing out of the window I felt nothing but emptiness. Beyond the trees and array of vibrant colours lay a world I would never be familiar with. Families sleeping peacefully, couples intertwined in each other's arms as they made love. I couldn't have any of that, and allowing myself to weaken, allowing Bella into my heart had almost convinced me that one day we could have a life together, we could be close to normal. But now, in this moment I knew, I truly knew it were all dreams, hopeless and pointless dreams.  
A light tapping from the other side of my bedroom door disturbed me suddenly, without moving I replied softly. "Come in Carlisle"  
He entered the room silently and cautiously, since Alice's insight to my future they had all been treating me with kid gloves. The grip my fingers held over the window frame tightened as I felt a hand gently placed over my shoulder, instantly I tensed, my nerves on edge.  
"Son, we missed you tonight. Emmett cheated of course and Jackson got slightly hot headed, I could have used your support"  
He was waiting for a normal response, and not wanting to cause them any further worry I reacted as expected. Forcing a slight smile I turned to face him, retracting instantly as I noted the overpowering concern displayed over Carlisle's face.  
"Well you will insist on interaction games Carlisle. You know Emmett can't play fair, and well Jasper is a perfectionist. So, who won?"  
I watched as Carlisle moved over to the bed, his eyes averted towards the crushed frame, indented by my fingers. It wasn't only his face that exuded concern now, his usually calm voice was faltering.  
"Your mother, Alice and I won" 

I waited, my eyes following his hand as he stroked against the moulded indentations.  
"Edward, we need to talk. Alice has told me and this situation needs to be controlled now, before you get yourself into something I know you can't handle"  
Alice had obviously sensed Charisma; obviously that is what her words had meant last night when I had arrived home. I should have guessed that she'd never keep it to herself.  
"Carlisle I appreciate everything you do for me, not only as a friend and mentor but as a father too. But this is my life, and I will live it however I choose. So please, save your lectures for someone who actually needs them"  
He moved swiftly before me now, his hands gripping tightly over my forearms. I worked hard to control the sudden angered feeling coursing through my body. Carlisle's grip softened as He witnessed my sudden change in personality.  
"Edward she is wooing you, we've all experienced it, and you can never underestimate another vampire's power of persuasion. But believe me son it's nothing to do with her caring for you. She will use you and then, when boredom sets in you'll be cast aside while she entertains herself with another. Son if you let her in, she will pull you apart, and there may just be no way back for you"  
I could feel myself burning from the inside out, I couldn't take anymore from anyone, backing away from Carlisle I moved closer to the large open glass door, I could smell the sunlight rising, the humid air drifting in through my room.  
"Carlisle I appreciate your concern, but really it's not necessary. Now if you'll excuse me, I've somewhere to be" 

I didn't allow him a chance to respond, a chance for his thoughts to echo inside my mind that was worse than hearing the words of doubt leaving his mouth, at least his spoken words were thought about, censored slightly. Any thoughts that Carlisle might have wouldn't be quite so tactile.  
I didn't turn to look back, concentrating on the stretch of trees before me I dodged each threatening object and allowed my body to take over, the mixture of fear, intrigue and passion driving me forwards, I hadn't thought once about where I was going, but the trail of her was easy to follow, her scent was delicious and addictive.  
Suddenly I found my pace slowing until my legs stopped carrying me further forwards, I could taste her in the air, my skin felt as though it were absorbing her. The silence was almost deafening until suddenly it was broken.  
"I wasn't sure you'd show"  
I could feel her presence behind me, the soft alluring sound of her voice licking about my ears as she stepped closer still. Holding myself strong, my fists clenched and my body tense as I struggled a shaky response.  
"I told you I'd be here, I still need answers and this time you will give them to me"  
Her lips now brushing against the back of my neck.

"Ok Edward you want answers? Now let's see, well you already know my name, and I think you know why I'm here that's pretty obvious. What else do you want to know?"  
My anger got the better of me now as I turned sharply, taking hold of her shoulders firmly as I allowed my eyes to penetrate hers.  
"My thoughts! How are you messing with my head?"  
A slow wicked smile spread over her mouth as she gazed down at each of my hands slowly, her brow raised, until I released my hold over her and stepped back. I shouldn't be that close to her anyway, there was no distance big enough for it to be safe.  
"As I said earlier, you and your sister...you're not the only vampires with special abilities. Even before becoming a vampire I was what I guess you could call...special. I do believe the professional term for the gift I have is Telepathic Communication, but with a twist. Obviously my enhanced abilities allow me to communicate on levels humans can only dream of"  
I don't know why I'd not thought of it before really, it was obvious she possessed abilities similar to my own, and I even found myself feeling envious, not only could she read the thoughts of others but she could communicate with them mentally too, I'd never heard of that power being possessed by another of my kind before. 

"Why me? I don't understand what the fascination with me is. You must have known that my family and I practised a socialised life with humans, that I didn't live my life the way you had chosen to live yours. Why would you give yourself such a challenge?"  
As soon as the words had left my mouth I knew I'd already answered my own question. The reason she was here, the reason she had pursued me was for the challenge, it would have been too easy to pair up with another Vampire such as herself. She didn't want easy, she wanted hard.  
I felt myself being pulled towards her again; I couldn't stop it even if I'd wanted to. The need I had to be close to her overpowered any other feeling running through me right now. The closer I got to her, the sweeter the taste of her fluid breath as it drifted inside my mouth. I'd tried to hold back for long enough now and my very last drop of willpower melted as soon as her lips pressed against mine. A low growl escaping my mouth as I felt her tongue exploring against mine, my teeth grazed over her bottom lip, piercing her skin slightly as I revelled in the taste of warm sickly blood trickling into my mouth. I felt my hunger increasing with each drop until a violent desire took hold of me. 

She struggled against me slightly, this only arousing me further as I felt the heavy material of my jeans straining against my solid member. Staring frustrated into her eyes I murmured deeply.  
"What's the problem? You want this don't you? This is what you came for, wasn't this the result you were looking for?"  
A thoughtful look swept over her face as she leant closer, whispering lightly against my neck as her tongue flicked over my skin.  
"Yes Edward this is what I want, but you realise you can't have the best of both worlds. A decision has to be made, either you desire me and a life of passion and indulgence into your ever whim or you want to continue living this make believe happy life with your slice of apple pie – Bella"  
Swallowing hard I took in her words, and she was right. There were certainly no way for me to go back now, I had to forget my life and what it had been before Charisma. As hard as it was for me to comprehend, I'd have to forget my family, everything I'd ever know and...I'd have to forget Bella.


	13. Chapter 13

_Thank you for your lovely reviews, it inspires me to write more_

Edwards Pov... 

I couldn't quite comprehend the task ahead of me; to say it was going to be difficult was a complete understatement. Although I was certain it was what I wanted, Charisma was what I wanted, it still didn't ease the deep fear that continued to pull at me.  
It wasn't a fear of telling her, of admitting what I did and didn't want, I was afraid of the lack of control I had over myself. I had struggled my whole life to maintain my solid composure, battled everyday with the temptations that attempted in luring me, and now I couldn't rely on myself anymore, there was no longer that want and need to be human, to be...normal or as close to normal as I could possibly get. 

I had managed to avoid my family since getting home, or perhaps they had avoided me, either way I was nothing but grateful for the space. I'd text Bella, asking her to come round and see me. I figured here would be the best place for me to see her now, that way if I did lose control at least my family would be here to deal with the situation. I wish I could say honestly that it were Bella's safety I were concerned for. It wasn't though, Charlie was the chief of police and if anything happened to his precious daughter He wouldn't let it go until the culprit had been brought to justice. I didn't fear Charlie, or the police but it would cause me no end of trouble and inconvenience. 

I'd showered and changed into black jeans, and black tee shirt, now all there was left to do was wait for Bella. I had already prepared myself for leaving. We had no need for passports, although identity documents may be required, depending on where Charisma wanted to go. I had packed enough money to pay for the human requirements we couldn't avoid, I could always make more if needed, and money was never something I would have to worry myself over.  
It was times like this that I detested the constraints of my house, I needed to run, needed freedom. My whole body felt as though it were being forced into submission as I paced back and forth, from one side of my room to the other. As I felt the floor beneath me wearing away my phone vibrated from its place in my pocket. Pulling it out I opened the waiting message from Bella.  
_"I'm leaving home now, be with you soon. I love you xx"_

A feeling of relief and satisfaction swept over me instantly, the sooner I got this over and done with, the sooner I could leave. I didn't have to do this though, I could have just gone, not said a word to anyone. Something sick and twisted inside me wanted this though, wanted to watch her fall apart. It was almost as if the monster inside blamed Bella for her love and understanding, it blamed her for not allowing my release sooner.  
I watched as She stepped out of the truck, her hair free and wild, her appearance more relaxed from the last time I'd seen her as she pulled up the zipper to her light grey sweatshirt. The delicate smell of her swept up and through my window, biting down against my hunger I waited, her footsteps echoing up the solid marble stairs, until they stopped outside my door. I listened intently to the shallow breaths she took, her heartbeat increasing, a wild uncontrollable pounding rhythm. Her soft voice sounded cautiously through the solid barrier of my door.  
"Edward it's me. Can I uh come in?"  
Keeping my stance, back facing the door I struggled out a reply, my voice deep and rough.  
"Of course"  
I felt the atmosphere change, everything in the room was instantly affected by her scent, and her very presence lingered over me. The air tinged with static and warmth and there it was again, that

urgent and desperate need to drain every last fluid drop of her. Where would that get me though! My family would surely hear her screams, I'd be outcast before I were ready, now was a time to think about myself, what I wanted. The sound of her light footsteps ceased as she took in a deep rugged breath. She was nervous, afraid even but she didn't quite know why. I might not be able to read Bella's thoughts, but I could feel them through every breath she took, hear them with each beat of her heart.  
"Bella thank you for coming, I have something to tell you, it shouldn't take long"  
She interrupted me, suddenly, her voice no longer soft, the calmness had been replaced by a frantic desperation.  
"No! I uh have something I need to say to you first Edward, just please hear me out"  
I nodded lightly, my back still turned against her.  
"Edward would you please face me! I don't want to talk to your back; I need to look into your eyes" 

Bella obviously couldn't read me quite as well as I could her, if she could then she'd realise my whole being was tense and on edge. Squaring my shoulders I turned slowly until my burning eyes caught her saddened gaze. Her dejected pose causing me no feeling of remorse as to what I was about to do. He had almost taken over completely now, there wasn't much of her Edward left, my system was frantically rejecting him.  
"Ok Bella say what it is you need to say" 

Her eyes averted to the floor as she shuffled uneasily, her bottom lip gripped between her teeth, as the words fell from her in a panicked stutter.  
"Everything has changed Edward, your different, I don't know...maybe I am too, I know that me being away isn't easy. But we're meant to be forever no matter what, our love can overcome anything"  
Her face steadily rising as the warmth in her hazel eyes drifted searchingly across my face.  
"We can still overcome anything...can't we?" 

It was time to deliver my cruel blow, and I couldn't help but display the wicked grin that crept over my mouth.  
"No Isabella we can't overcome anything at all. Honestly I'm not quite sure on what we based this relationship, but it wasn't something that could last. You were a project Bella, I saw a challenge and I succeeded. You no longer hold any interest for me and its time for me to move on...without you holding me back"  
I watched as silent tears tumbled freely from her sullen eyes, every muscle in her face displayed a devastated angle, I watched her very being fall apart, collapse before me. After what seemed to be an eternity she regained composure long enough to whisper faintly.  
"What! Why? I don't understand why you're doing this Edward. Is it me being away? I can change that, we...we can be together, I'll come back. Edward I'll do anything for you...anything"  
Stepping closer I reached out, watching the glimmer of hope shine in her eyes as I took a strand of her hair between my fingers. 

"Oh Bella, my sweet, sweet Bella. You just don't get it do you? I don't want you. And as for you being away, that's only made me realise how little you mean to me. I was wrong Bella. My feelings were never real, this was never real. Now you should go."  
Turning my back once more I clenched my jaw tightly, her desperation only made the hunger stronger and I couldn't hold myself together much longer. Her sobbing echoed about the room, and I sensed Carlisle's thoughts, he had heard her anguish and was ashamed for Alice's vision. Little did he realise that wasn't the reason for my actions.  
"Edward please...don't do this to me, I can't breathe without you" 

She wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon and if I didn't escape the intensity of the situation, I'd maim her this very second. Roughly throwing open the door before me I growled my response before fleeing into the freedom of the woods.

"Bella go home"


	14. Chapter 14

Edwards Pov... 

Fleeing into the wilderness seemed to be the only one thing that offered me any release and the further I got away from Bella, the better. My speed allowed me to distance myself from the house before anyone could apprehend me, following my cruel yet truthful blow. I knew Alice would now be consoling Bella, Carlisle would most certainly be punishing himself, attempting to work out the reasoning behind my actions. And what the others thought, I didn't know and neither did I care.  
I found myself back in that spot, back where I had first met Charisma, this seemed to be my only sanctuary now, Somehow the air was still tinged with her fragrance, the scent of death lingered everywhere our recent execution hadn't been forgotten by nature. I hadn't heard the addictive flow of her voice for hours now and I was craving it, the need I felt for her presence was growing stronger and stronger every second of every day that went by. I wished with every last ounce of me that she were here, I wanted nothing more than to pour myself into her. All the hate, anger, frustration and desire all I wanted was to lose myself in her. Forget all of the goodness that had been forced into me, the false hope that I could be normal, that I could one day be happy.  
Although the endless stream of cluttered thoughts from my family didn't have access to my head, I still couldn't stop myself from thinking through each of their thoughts, spending so long in and out of their heads, I had gained a very good idea of how their minds worked, the process of life through their eyes and I knew they would be disgusted and disappointed in me. The only compassion I'd probably receive would be from Rosalie, She'd never agreed with my choice of human companion. Rosalie's opinion was that I should stick to my own kind. Emmett was also of the same view, although even he held Bella under high regard.  
Nothing made sense anymore and I still couldn't control or stop the violent hunger from pulling deep within me. I needed to feed, pacing back and forth from tree to tree was doing nothing but working up my appetite. Suddenly I spotted her, walking between the overwhelming growths of vibrancy. Her clothing screamed inexperienced hiker, she had a lead held firmly in her right hand, her voice echoing about the depth of the forest. 

"Bonnie...where are you? Common Bonnie here, here"  
This was perfect, I'd never seen her before and she was clearly in a venerable state, I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by, I needed to feed now! And the thought of deer or any other creature didn't appease my appetite.  
Swiftly but carefully swinging down from my place between the trees branches I crouched behind her, landing with caution.  
"Do you need any help?" 

She turned suddenly, her frantic calling for Bonnie ceased as her concerned eyes softened, sweeping over my body a soft shy smile spread across her lips. I'd captured her trust now, everything was drawing her towards me, she couldn't have resisted even if she tried.  
"I um... I've lost my dog, um her names Bonnie. Have you seen her run past?"  
I watched as a brilliant heat spread over her face, every pulse throughout her young virginal body was screaming "Take me, drink me" Licking slowly over my bottom lip I stepped closer, now I could faintly taste her, not her blood of course but her odour, her womanly scent was tickling my taste buds, Causing my body to shake with craving.  
"Oh your dog huh? Well I can't say that I do remember seeing it come by here, why don't you tell me what she looks like. I'd like to help you"  
Her eyes were captivated by my very presence, everything inside her head was screaming for her to leave, that she didn't know me and was miles away from any other human civilisation. But then she wanted to trust me, her eyes were leading her instincts, as she convinced herself a young good looking guy like myself couldn't possibly hurt her, and she'd actually quite like it anyway. This pleased me; she was quite the masochist on the quiet.  
As I stepped closer, the pounding rhythm of her heart against her ribcage only induced my excitement further. She was afraid now, but still she'd not move away, in fact she moved closer, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, as her eyes darted from the ground, only to meet with mine. 

Stopping before her I tasted the sweetness of her innocent breath as it travelled into my mouth, her pulse quickening as the steady flow of blood travelled faster and faster through her veins, I was losing her. The trust was slipping and I couldn't afford to let this moment pass. Reaching out I wound my arm about her waist, pulling until I felt her plump body thud against my coldness. Taking my other hand I tangled my fingers through her hair, everything inside of her was lit up and sparking wildly. Allowing my breath to brush over her neck I whispered. "You know what I think? I think that you need to relax, and I'm going to help you, I'm going to take all of the worry away"  
And with that I sunk my teeth into her flesh, my fangs sliding in her as if she were butter, there was no scream only a light whimper before she collapsed, fainting in my arms. I didn't take much, my frenzied mood disturbed by her lack of consciousness. Dropping her limp body to the ground I guessed it'd take a few minutes for her to come round, and by then she'd be so disorientated that this whole episode would feel like nothing more than a dream. The blood stains of her clothes would suggest some form of animal attack and that is the story she would stick with. I mean after all, who would believe a vampire attacked her!  
Licking the traces of her blood from my lips I moved away, soaring through the thick dense foggy atmosphere, dusk was descending. Alice's thoughts intruded my head suddenly as I slowed my pace.  
"Edward stop running for one second. We have to talk, this really is ridiculous, and what the hell are you doing!" 

Slowing I waited until Alice arrived beside me, reaching out she placed her hand against my shoulder, squeezing gently. I turned to face her and instantly wished I hadn't, every pained line over her face etched into my hardened heart. Allowing her to stop my constant pace I stood, gazing over her shoulder as I waited for the onslaught of questions.  
"Edward what did you do?"  
A sudden flash of anger swept through me, what did she mean "what did I do?" that was pretty damn obvious! Gritting my teeth I forced myself to meet her curious amber eyes.  
"Alice I did what you told me I'd do. It was your vision remember!"  
My words had caused her pain, as I'd known they would, averting her gaze to the floor she spoke in a soft whisper.  
"Edward I didn't want to see that. You know how I consider Bella, she's like a sister to me and the last thing in the world I wanted was to see you leave her. Do you honestly think I like seeing things like that! That I enjoy telling you and watching your heart break? And then holding your girlfriend as her world shatters...you think I want that?"  
Shaking my head with frustration I turned away my back facing Alice as she hesitated, holding her body still.  
"Alice she isn't my girlfriend, I don't want to talk about it and don't feel bad. Alice your vision only confirmed what I deep down already knew. Bella and I, we aren't meant to be. I'd been fooling myself, she can't satisfy me, Alice I'm an animal and Bella is a human"  
"No you're not an animal. Edward you can't help what happened to you, and you've done nothing but make good of your life, we all have. I hate seeing you like this; I wish you wouldn't do this"  
Bending my head slightly towards the ground I took in the silence, everything was calm and I had managed to block Alice's thoughts. Suddenly I felt her move closer to me, the air between us tinged with atmosphere. Her hand touched lightly against my shoulder as I closed my eyes, her shuddered breath turning to a gasp.  
"Edward...oh god! What have you done?"  
Turning slowly I faced her, the darkness in my eyes penetrating her very core as the words tumbled from my mouth.  
"I've allowed myself to be what I am Alice...a Vampire"


	15. Chapter 15

Just another thank you for reading and your reviews, it makes writing this worthwhile.

Edwards Pov...

I left Alice routed to the spot, her mind was a flurry of questions and answers, I knew she was suffering from the deepest set disappointment and shock, but for once I couldn't be her older brother, the person that calmed her concerns. I also knew that I could no longer stay. With or without Charisma I had to get away. I took the decision to go home, I had to gather up some money and clothes; I'd need to take a car, running everywhere just wasn't practical.  
I knew Bella had gone I'd seen her leaving through Alice's distraught thoughts. I blocked out the images of Bella's face, her heart shattered into irreparable fragments. There was still a part of me, buried deep down somewhere that felt the desperate tugging of pain over what I had done. But then the cold harsh reality would hit me instantaneously, what I was, what I had become couldn't be controlled and staying with Bella, staying in this pretence would only result in pain and death, as animalistic as I had now become I still didn't want that on my conscious. 

As I neared the house a multitude of thoughts broke through the silence I had momentarily enjoyed. Esme was distraught, inconsolable. I couldn't define her exact thoughts through the flurry of distress and pointless guessing as to my whereabouts. Carlisle was of course attempting to calm her, to reassure his wife that everything would be ok, that He would get through to me and all would return to normal. Reading deep within his thoughts I experienced the obvious truth that had hit him. I was slipping away and the situation was now beyond his control. Alice had told him everything about Charisma. Being older and wiser then I Carlisle had experienced similar trials before claiming Esme. He had attempted a true vampire way of life in his first 2 years of rebirth. Apparently though my father was a stronger being then I, He had rejected the cruel and thirst driven parallel that was now taking hold of me. I couldn't listen any further and blocked out my siblings, I had never much cared for their minds anyway. 

Slipping back through the open glass door to my room I lifted the farthest floorboard and removed several stuffed envelopes, money had never been a concern of ours and I knew once this had run out I could and would easily come across more...one way or another.  
Snatching a holdall from the top of my wall length closet I didn't take any care or attention over the items I thrust into it, clothing was also more than accessible to my kind, but it wouldn't do to create myself any more hardship then absolutely necessary. Finally taking hold of the keys to my Audi R8 Spider I made my exit, stopping one final time to glance about the room that had, up until this point been my sanctuary. It held nothing for me now but a haze of memories.  
Reaching for the door handle I found myself freeze, slowly flicking my eyes up to the passenger side of the car I found myself meeting with a dangerous black stare.  
"Leaving without me lover?"  
Swallowing slowly I disposed of the holdall into the car and leant over the roof, my fingers stroking over the sleek black paintwork beneath me.  
"I thought perhaps you might have changed your mind and left alone"  
Smiling confidently she lifted the handle to the passenger door and lowered her luxurious body into the cool leather of the car seat. Looking up one final time over my make believe home I prepared my departure. Before I could close the door I heard him, and I can't say that I had been surprised, In fact what surprised me more was that Carlisle had left it this long to use his secret weapon. Jasper was the obvious choice in a last ditch attempt to get through to me. He had been blessed with the gift to manipulate the emotions of those around him and would no doubt be under the impression that this would work on me.  
"Brother what are you doing?" 

Sucking in a low snarl I looked towards Charisma, who had instinctively moved to execute this sudden problem. Shaking my head at her I moved away from the car, stepping towards him, only a few steps though, distance was still paramount.  
"Jasper this isn't your fight. So don't make it a war"  
"You do realise Edward that Alice's heart has been broken over all of this" Extending his hand over the car His body held statue still.  
I felt the anger rising from deep within the very pit of my stomach and struggled against a sudden vicious need to remove his tongue.  
"Had it ever occurred to you Jasper, that Alice's feelings were not at the forefront of my mind whilst I made decisions about MY life? You are all so god damned quick to judge me, to cast your accusations and spread your wise words. But not once have any of you ever thought about how I might be feeling, what exactly it is that is driving me to do this"  
I followed his glare now as it landed over the passenger side of the car.  
"Oh Edward I think we all know your reasons for doing this. And take it from someone that has been there before, nothing good can ever come of being with someone like that. She will use you Edward, right now you might feel like she needs you, but believe me all she considers you as is merely a play thing, a toy to take part in her sick games. And the most sickening thing is you have actually convinced yourself that she actually loves you! When really you have just thrown away the one person that did love you. Bella would have given her life for you Edward, she had already given you her heart and soul, but that's not enough for you is it!" 

The mere mention of Bella's name had snapped something that was already weak within me. My earlier bitten back growl slowly and deeply fell from my mouth.  
"Jasper you're walking on a very thin line, do not underestimate my lack of control. My relationship with Bella has nothing to do with you. Now please just go back indoors and pass on my goodbyes to everyone. Take care of yourself Jasper...And...Take care of Alice for me"  
Turning my back towards him I glided to the car door and once again lowered myself into the seat. Her aroma had already filled the car and it took all I had not to reach out for her now.  
"Are you ready Edward? Are you ready to live for the first time?"  
Igniting the growling engine I nodded as I took one final glance into the review mirror, my eyes falling over the sullen figure of Jasper, behind him the glass cage that had for so long detained me. Nodding I pressed my foot to the gas, propelling us forwards.  
"I'm ready to be myself Charisma"  
And with that I left it behind, all that I had once know fading into the distance and along with it any scrap of decency I had left.


	16. Chapter 16

Edwards Pov... 

We had been driving for hours, the night time fading into day; I could feel the sun beating against the car, its UV proof windows hiding us from the outside world. We had decided on dumping the car and taking a flight to Alaska.  
Whilst we were thousands of miles in the air I took the opportunity to find out more, hold some form of normal conversation with her. She knew everything there was to know about me and yet I knew absolutely nothing about her. I watched as she shifted in her seat, her face displaying frustration and discomfort.  
"Is this your first time flying?" 

Her head snapped around to face me, the fluid body of hair whipping against her neck. I could hear the rhythm of her blood increasing as it pounded through her body, which would take some getting used to. I had been so used to the steady flow of Bella's weak blood, her sweet scent that absorbed inside me. Charisma's blood journeyed at a furious pace and the scent was never the same, I had put this down to her regular intake of human blood, her blood stream constantly infected with intruding mixtures.  
"Edward it's bad enough that you expect us to sit on this flying tin can and for me not to feed; now you want to make small talk and pretend like we're some normal couple"  
Leaning closer to her hostile frame I whispered through clenched teeth, a slight growl carrying my words.  
"Despite the fact that you seem to think your invincible we cannot just bleed dry every human that takes your fancy. We will be landing soon and then, well then you can feed. But until then you're just going to have to be patient and control yourself" 

Her face displayed an expression of pure shock, she obviously wasn't used to being told no, but if this was going to work she would just have to learn that living recklessly just wasn't an option anymore. Especially with it being not only about her anymore, it was both of us now and we were bound to attract more attention this way.  
I allowed my thoughts to drift back to home; my family would be suffering and dealing with my departure in varied different ways. Eseme would unmistakably be distraught; I had been her first child of sorts. Carlisle would be desperately trying to hold the family together, whilst possibly attempting in tracking me down, my guess was that he would contact other Vampire cults and family's, all of which we kept reasonable distance from. Our species was not one of congregation and socializing. Most vampires lived a solitude life, it was easier that way, less...distraction.  
The very few of us that did explore collective living were usually that way due to our inner struggle in controlling our hunger. It was easier to support and encourage each other in doing the right thing, practicing the most human way in living. I had of course attempted in living alone, dealing in my own destiny, but this had failed due to my lack of willpower and my deep yearning to live amongst humans still. 

Looking across at Charisma once more I noticed her distant gaze out of the window. Her mind control abilities had allowed her in pushing up a strong and almost unbreakable force field to her mind. Only when we were feeding had I caught a slight glimpse into her mind. Narrowing my eyes I pushed through the foggy confusion and used all of my power and experience, I needed to know what was going through her thoughts, not knowing anything about her and her previous life was tormenting me, for reasons I couldn't completely understand.  
"Edward stop it. I know what you're doing and I told you all that you need to know about me, stop trying to push me"  
Her words entered my mind unspoken; she didn't even look at me. Her obvious mental strength only supported my assumptions that she was indeed my elder. Suddenly I sensed the plane descending. 

We had chosen Anchorage Alaska for many reasons, the most important being its overcast days and dismal weather. Being vampires restricted where we could base ourselves. We'd not stay here forever though, I knew for a fact that Charisma couldn't settle in one place for long, this would be a stop gap until we had decided on our next destination.  
I hired a car leaving Charisma outside. She had taken great pleasure in sharing with me her interest in a young couple that she had been studying on the plane. The girl would no doubt be a gift for me, whilst Charisma indulged herself with her boyfriend. They would have no clue as to Charisma's plans, but instead of disgust me, this only heightened my excitement.  
Pulling the metallic grey Range Rover Sport around to the front hanger of the airport I noticed Charisma leaning in towards a redhead, the girl giggling and her boyfriend draped casually about her waist. I noted the girl's body language and she appeared to be relaxed and comfortable, Charisma had gained the girls trust already and it would only be a matter of time until I could taste her, licking against my lips I imagined how warm and sweet she would be. Her age only increasing my appetite, there was less chance of her blood being ruined by years of alcohol or drug abuse. She would taste like pure innocence and there was nothing more mouth watering to me. 

Forcing my most charming smile I rolled down the heavily blackened window and pulled alongside them. Charismas face lighting up at the site of me as she swept her arm about the girl's shoulders and brought her forwards toward the passenger side, allowing me a closer look. I held back the hungered growl that threatened release. Her skin a delicate shade of peach, the decadent smell of berries exuded from her. My eyes travelled over her young body, she was fully developed now though, every inch of her woman. A curtain of flame red hair adorned her head as she bit back a nervous smile, looking at me from under her soft lashes.  
"Edward I'd like you to meet Charlotte and her boyfriend Daniel" At the mention of his name Charlottes partner stepped forwards, his bulky frame suggested that he kept himself in top form, something I'm sure tempted Charisma.  
Nodding my head towards the gorilla type figure before me I found myself gazing over at Charlotte again. Her hair reminded me of Bella. The same innocence and insecurity displayed over her delicate face. I could feel Charismas eyes on me, burning through me as her words sounded in my head.  
"Don't mess this up Edward, I intend on feeding and these beautiful specimens are going to satisfy my hunger, and yours. I know you want her; I can smell your desire"  
Starting the engine I leant over, opening the passenger door as I winked over to Charlotte, patting the seat encouragingly I waited whilst she bite against her lip and turned hesitantly to seek assurance from Daniel, my smile widening as He nodded and she slipped into the car, strapping herself in. 

As the four of us journeyed away from the airport, Charisma was the first to speak, breaking the uneasy silence.  
"Daniel and Charlotte were telling me that they have a beautiful log cabin at Chester Creek Edward. I explained how this is our first time visiting Alaska and Charlotte kindly offered us dinner with them this evening"  
Flicking my eyes up to the review mirror I caught Charismas eye and raised my brow questioningly. Feeling as though I should say something I smiled weakly and glanced across to Charlotte.  
"That's very kind of you. Both of you. What time would you like us over?" I was hoping that I would have a chance to quiz Charisma over what exactly she had planned. We also needed to find somewhere to stay.  
Daniel spoke now, his voice deep and steady.  
"Well seeing as your kind enough to drop us home, why don't you just stay with us now? There isn't much point in going and then coming back again"  
Just as I deliberated arguing Daniels offer she was inside my head once more.  
"Edward this is the answer to all of our problems. We will feed on them, and then when we're done our lack of place to stay will be answered. I've always wanted to live in a log cabin"


	17. Chapter 17

I pulled the range rover into a waiting space outside Charlotte and Daniels home, casting my eye over the log built structure I noticed Charisma smiling satisfactorily, she obviously approved with our new home to be. Charlotte was the first to exit the car and moved around to the trunk. Gliding before her I placed my hand on top of hers and smiled, allowing just the tip of my teeth to show.  
"Please let me get your bags"  
"Oh thank you Edward" She smiled shyly as I lifted the 2 bulging cases with ease. 

As I made my way over to the already open front door with Charlotte I tasted a small fraction of her sweet delight as the wind caught at the back of her fiery hair, causing her scent to trickle down the back of my throat. I tightened my grip on the case; my senses were set on edge as I forced back the desperate urge that I was still learning to control.  
Stepping inside I adjusted to the atmosphere about me. Even though it must have been months since they had last holidayed here, the musky fragrance mixed with the vanilla of Charlottes perfume tinged the air and I once again found myself fighting back the need for her blood. I knew Charisma had the scene already set out in her mind; she wouldn't be pleased at all with me for pushing Charlotte against the wall beside me and consuming her. Charisma although an animal by nature wasn't all that violent, more sadistic. She set the mood, even attempted in convincing her prey it was what they wanted, it would bring them pleasure. 

Placing the cases onto the floor I moved forwards to stand behind Charisma, setting my hands on her generous hips, my lips brushing against the side of her neck as she tilted her head slightly, a soft moan escaping her. Parting my lips slightly I whispered over her cold skin.  
"What exactly is your plan here?"  
Lowering her voice she kept her stance, facing the window as we both watched a flurry of snow begin to fall.  
"The plan Edward is to feed on them, I want to give you Charlotte and I will take Daniel. I want to look up and see you covered in her blood. And then when they have nothing left to give I'm going to clean you up"  
Her words sending waves of desire through me as I nipped lightly at her skin.  
"I will be inside you tonight Charisma. You've made me wait far too long"  
Our passionate embrace was suddenly interrupted by Charlotte's innocent voice singing out behind us.  
"Can I uh get you both a drink? We have red wine, whisky, beer?"  
Turning slowly I caught the cautious look in Charlotte's deep hazel eyes; She was so much like Bella it disturbed me. Although I had to admit, the thought of feeding on her excited me for that very reason. 

Charisma moved away from me as she stepped closer to Charlotte, I could taste the intensity of the situation, Charlotte was on edge, cautious and weary of Charisma, more so then myself. Allowing her hand to slide over Charlottes slight shoulders she moved behind her and over to the entertainment system on the unit against the rooms opposing wall.  
"I'm good for now thank you; Edward might want slight refreshment though"  
Looking eagerly toward me Charlotte raised her brow in question as a hopeful smile spread over her mouth. Feeling pressure to speak I nodded slowly, hoping my expression was convincing.  
"Uh yes a beer would be good, Thanks"  
I looked up as Daniel entered the room, his manly odour insulted Charlotte's delicate fragrance. He looked different from before, the Yankees baseball cap had been discarded. His sweatshirt changed into a grey tee, I watched with anger as Charisma cast an approving eye over his bulging muscles almost straining to escape the taught material. I followed his movements as He walked over to Charisma, my hands gripped into tight fists; the urge to throw myself on him and tare his throat out was consuming me.  
"Ah I see you found my varied music collection Charisma"  
"I most certainly did, and I must say I'm most impressed with your eclectic taste"  
Her finger trailed over the top of the array of plastic cases, stopping suddenly as she pulled one from its space.  
"You like Godsmack?" She questioned, a surprised look cast over her face.  
Taking the cd from her grasp Daniel switched on the oversized system and inserted it with a cocky smile displayed over his lips.  
"Well I listen to a wide variety of music, but yes they're one of my passions" His tone lowered as he looked up towards the kitchen. "Only don't tell Charlotte I'm putting it on. She can't stand it"  
Breaking my anger Charlotte appeared next to me, passing the beer to me with a smile. Her face creased in distaste as the music sounded in the speakers spread about the room.  
"Oh Dan! Did you really have to put this on? It's hardly guest material music"  
Looking towards Charisma Daniel spoke with authority and confidence.  
"Actually Charisma like's it, and well we do have to keep our guests happy don't we Charlotte?"  
Several drinks and a second Album later Charlotte and Daniel were pleasantly relaxed, the pounding of the hearts slowed down to a rhythmic pace, a warmth had spread over their bodies and inhibitions were slowly being lost. Sitting forwards on the couch before us Daniels eyes lit up.  
"I have an idea. Let's get in the hot tub shall we?" 

I could see the unsure expression on Charlottes face as her face flushed a flattering shade of pink, biting down against her nails she glanced up from under her lashes and caught my gaze.  
"Well we're game if you are" Charisma purred as she laid her hand upon my knee. That was my signal to go along with the idea.  
Turning around Daniel nodded towards Charlotte's still uncertain face. "What do you say babe? Are you in?"  
The pressure of his influence causing her to relent as she forced a smile and stood up.  
10 minutes later I found myself surrounded by a flurry of bubbles and foam, the steam casting a curtain between the four of us. I couldn't feel the heat of the water, although Charisma's excitement alone caused my body to come alive.  
Charlotte had relaxed as soon as her body had been immersed into the water, her slight frame clad in peach lace underwear called to me, her blood pleading to be tasted. As hard as I tried, I just couldn't keep my eyes from her neck. The vein that pumped furiously whenever she spoke was almost singing a seductive tune to me.  
Charisma clearly sensing my struggle placed a reassuring hand over my leg, digging her nails in until I turned to face her. Drawing back her bottom lip to expose blood thirsty teeth she gave me the signal that it was time, and we would both have to act in unison to prevent drawing an attention to the situation.

Following her lead I clamped myself over Charlotte's relaxed state, the confused look in her eyes soon turned to fear as she heard a low growl escape me, my mouth set in a snarl as I wound my arms tightly about her waist, acting like a snake crushing its prey. Her heart had picked up speed and was pounding rapidly against her ribcage, vibrating over my chest.  
Leaning my mouth closer toward her neck I licked against my lips, allowing my teeth to slightly graze the surface of her silky skin.  
"It'll only hurt for a second" I whispered  
Sensing Charisma beside me as she reached out a hand, brushing it across my lap and against my hard member, groaning I allowed my teeth access to her flesh, sinking them deep into her as a slight scream filtered from Charlottes mouth. Allowing my eyes to flicker over to Charisma I watched with lust as she had almost drained him, her years of experience obvious over my lacking.  
Straddled over Daniel, her tongue lapped up the last drops of blood as they dripped down his neck and into the water. Closing my mouth I forced her vein to open further, the slightly sour warmth flowing with ease down my throat as I felt her give up, her body limp against me. Pulling back I stood away from her lifeless state. 

Charismas hands explored my back, her nails scraping across my skin as she worked her way around my body, bending my head to the side slightly I moaned as her tongue trailed against my skin, cleaning the traces of excess blood as it dripped down my body. Pushing my hands up and into her hair I pushed her back, her body falling against the bench beneath the blood red water. Gripping my hands tightly into the silk material of her bra I tore it roughly from her, scraps of material hanging about her body as my hand worked its way down her toned stomach. Growling heavily I felt her teeth nipping over my neck as she whimpered with desire.  
Pulling the material of her panties I felt as the flimsy material near to dissolved in my hand, I had been waiting for this since the first time I had laid eyes on her, my hunger for her driving me forwards as I plunged 4 fingers directly inside her, watching with satisfaction as her face contorted in pleasured pain as I picked up speed inside her, thrusting them deeper and deeper, hitting her every spot as wild screams fell from her mouth.  
Her hands clawing at my ass as she pulled me closer, finally giving in to her needs I sunk myself into her, my hands gripped tightly onto the wooden exterior of the spa as I thrust with force, my hardness increasing with the feeling of her excited warmth surrounding my cock.  
Her body clung to me with passion as I licked wantonly over her nipple, taking it's hardness between my lips as my tongue danced over the tip, nibbling and sucking, moving over to her other breast as I repeated the action.  
Her screams surrounded me and this only caused me to work into her harder, faster.  
"Fuck Edward, you animal. Fuck me Fuck me Fuck me"  
Grunting as my teeth sunk into her shoulder, my hand sliding beneath her ass as I pulled her closer onto me, my length deep inside her as my release neared, unable to hold onto myself any longer I allowed the pressure of my bite to increase as the dark stream of blood began to escape from her.  
Wild moans echoing as she contracted over me, the feeling of her inner muscles tightening sending me over the edge as I released myself inside her.  
A smirk set over her mouth as she stroked against my hair, I felt myself sliding from her, the feeling of leaving her causing me to shudder.  
"Mmmm well you were a hungry boy weren't you Edward?"  
Moving from her body slightly I tangled my hand amongst her wet locks of hair, pulling tugging slightly as I guided her to look at me.  
"That was only the appetizer my love, now I'm ready for my main course"


	18. Chapter 18

The two weeks that followed Charlotte and Daniel's gruesome death passed in a haze of lust and desire. Still lacking the relevant hunting skills, I waited eagerly for Charisma to return each evening with our food and entertainment. I had however still clung onto mere scraps of decency and morals as I warned her not to return with anyone below the age of Seventeen. I know it would seem that I have no right to set rules and guidelines that we must adhere to, but I knew that had she returned to me with a child, the desire for blood would be too strong to control and I'd end up making a choice that I would be likely to regret for the remainder of my existence, however long that might be. 

My hunger had swallowed up any decent and humane cell left inside my body, the craving and need for blood was all that filled my mind, every waking moment of the day and night we spent indulging in our thirst, indulging in each other, there wasn't an inch of Charisma's body that I hadn't explored or tasted, and yet every time was like the first, she had shown me things that propelled me to another world and the experience of life with her was addictive.  
Despite my addiction to Charisma and our new way of life I couldn't help but allow my mind to drift back to Forks. That had been the first time in my life that I felt anything close to normal, human. As I hunched over in the strength of the pine tree, watching the snow settle below me my mind drifted back to the lush greenery of the woodland surrounding my family's home. It had been there that I executed my first human feeding in just under 100 years, I remembered the taste still, although nothing spectacular my victim had flowed through my veins like velvet, She satisfied every craving my body had been crying out for. My lusting had been further heightened as I'd held Charisma's gaze, in that moment I could feel her and that's when our connection was made.  
The one person that filled my head night and day was Alice, I remember the devastated look on her face, the un-repairable damage I had caused her and then I'd left, without a second thought for her, or anyone. 

I waited until the moon was at its highest point, the snow had increased in flow and silence descended around me, swinging down through the branches my feet barely hit the ground before I swept through the mountain, the air here was clear, untainted unlike my mind. Everything, all scraps of decency I had ever clung onto had dissolved and been replaced by self satisfaction, lust, greed and hunger Charisma had made sure of that.  
As I approached the house the smell of blood, fresh blood tingled at the back of my senses, the youth of it filled the air about me, Charisma had brought someone home, whether they had been willing victims or not I didn't know and honestly...I didn't care.  
I sighed, noticing the door slightly ajar, the sound of music echoing out of the hostile atmosphere.

I could hear distant sounds, muffled voices from deep within the house, my lack of human contact had caused my senses to deflate slightly, but the thoughts of whomever were our intended blood donor intruded my head.  
"What was I thinking! I'm not ready for this, oh god my parents! What will they say? God help me, help me!"  
Unable to suffer any more I stormed into the bedroom, the sight before me causing my body to halter, routed to the very spot where I stood as I took in the scene.  
The room darkened apart from a faint light flickering from a lone candle positioned in the corner of the room, focusing I caught the figure moving timidly to the corner of the bed, the thoughts I had heard earlier now tuned into a now faint whimpering.  
"I'm going to die, I'm going to die and my mother will never know how sorry I am for our argument, oh god how could I have put myself in this situation!"  
Reaching out and gripping onto the door handle, I could feel it begin to crush beneath my steely strength. Charismas mind was a swirl of lusting, frenzied hunger was working its way through her body. The whimpering still intruding my head as I forced my mind closed, pushed out the noise before it sent me over the edge. Charisma had finally noticed me, I could just about make out her moving from the bed as she neared me, her scent catching at the back of my throat.  
I closed my eyes as her hand made contact with my jaw, cool fingers sweeping down my neck.  
"Hello lover, you were gone for so long...I got bored. I hope you don't mind, but as you can see I found us some company"  
Leaning closer until I could taste her breath, I felt it brush against my ear.  
"She's delightful love, so young and lush, her blood is untainted"  
I couldn't help but feel the burning of desire as it generated deep within my stomach, my earlier concerns were only confirmed by Charisma's words. Despite the ground rules I had set she'd gone against all of them and brought back a minor, someone so innocent that it caused my blood to tingle with rage and yearning. 

Unable to stay in the tempting atmosphere any longer I reached out and snatched Charisma's hand, pulling her swiftly from the room and into the dull light of the living room. Her expression was one of shock and anger as I caught her wild fiery eyes glaring deep into mine. Her hair cascading down her shoulders and back as she stood in nothing but a black silk slip, the mere sight of her naked flesh exposed against her arms and legs caused a flurry of excitement deep within me. Growling at her from gritted teeth I held tightly onto her wrist.  
"What the hell are you doing? I believe that I told you never under any circumstances to ever bring someone so young back! Fuck Charisma...I know you like living wildly and that you have no consideration for humans, but she's nothing but a child! A frightened child that wants her mother"  
A questioning look now spread over her face as she pulled her arm free from me, stepping back away as her brow creased with confusion.  
"Edward she's food, nothing more. I thought we had discussed this! I thought you finally understood! I will not comply with any rules, regardless of whether they have been set by you or not. In my world there are no rules, I live for my wants and needs, nothing less"  
I suddenly realised in that second that she had no intention of maintaining even a scrap of decency, Charisma had a deep routed evil that I had never seen before, any human substance inside her had been eaten up by the darkness, by her ever growing hunger for blood and even my new found passion for the taste of humans couldn't compare to her lusting.  
I knew she wasn't going to let her prey go, but I also knew that I wasn't about to stand back and forget everything I had become for a few seconds of pleasure.


	19. Chapter 19

Edwards Pov...  
Ejecting myself from the room quickly I drew back on the saliva building against my teeth, a low groan escaping me as I lunged forwards into the open spaced kitchen area, gripping onto the work surface as I felt the power of Charisma's thoughts intruding my mind.  
_"Edward you know that I can't let her go now! And we both know you need to feed, baby come and take pleasure in her, stop holding back and allow yourself release"_  
Gritting my jaw together I could feel the uncontrollable urge for blood threatening me, it felt almost as if my insides were pulling against me, I couldn't swallow I could barely function. The pounding of the young girls heart was echoing about my ears, sounding almost like a seductive beat and my body felt instantly drawn to it. Suddenly though the beat lessened and faded to a dull thud. 

Turning slowly I edged towards the solid oak door, placing my palm against it; I could feel the fear tinged with pain flowing out towards me. Pushing against it I prepared for the sight that was sure to meet me. There sprawled out over the bed the young girl lay, Charisma held her cradled securely towards her body. My eyes travelled over the gruesome, yet alluring sight. Charisma's jaw locked firmly over the fresh subtle peachy skin, her teeth had pierced its surface and the sweet pure blood was flowing easily into her mouth.  
I stood, my fingers crushing against the wooden doorframe as my tongue licked across my lips with hunger. Her eyes flicked up towards me as she licked the tip of her tongue across the wound. Her voice reached out to me.  
"Edward...Feed"  
I found myself pulling the limp figure from Charisma's arms, the stream of blood dripping down onto the hollow of the young girl's neck, taking her forefinger Charisma leant over me and dipped her finger into the pool of fresh blood. Bringing her finger up to my lips she trailed it slowly back and forth. Parting my lips I allowed the taste to seep inside my body. There was an edge of sourness but mostly she was sweet and smooth, instantly wanting more I pulled her up, my lips sucking against her neck at the wound Charisma had made. I allowed my teeth to sink into the existing holes and then the blankness descended upon me. Any surrounding noise diminished, my senses were taken over as I gave myself to this moment. 

Standing beneath the cascading water as it pumped down over my head I let my eyes drop to the shower tray and watched as the watery blood disappeared down the plug hole. Charisma was disposing of the body, something she had always taken care of, the realisation of what we'd done always hit me with great force after the event and I couldn't function well enough to make even the smallest of decisions. 

Resting my hands against the hard glossy tiled wall ahead of me I took advantage of the rare silence, no thoughts intruding my head. It was only now that I could allow my mind to drift back, to take me back to them. When I closed my eyes the vision of vibrant green trees flashed before me, the glass clad building positioned discreetly behind the growth of the woods. I pictured what they might be doing now, my family. The first of them my thoughts drifted to was Alice, she carried the burden of what had happened, I know she'd be blaming herself for the outcome and she would be reaching out to me, attempting to bend her visions so that she could at least see if I was ok. However hard Alice tried though, she'd never be able to control them like that, her visions weren't voluntary, they happened upon her when she least expected it. She'd tried in the past of course, to tame them, use them to our advantage, but this had only resulted in her collapsing and suffering from excruciating pain.

My thoughts rarely ever travelled to Bella, I'm not sure if this was out of choice or if my mind disallowed her, either way it could be nothing but good. The idea of her entering my thoughts were distressing, I'd not tortured myself with thoughts of my departure from her, the words I had used now absent from me and that's how I wanted it to stay.  
Throwing on a pair of black pants and grey tee I stepped out to the veranda, the cool night air licked about my exposed arms as I took pleasure in its purity. My senses had been intruded by Forks, the human air tinged with economic living and selfish acts of greed. I Looked out over the varied mountains and fresh greenery, Charisma would be back soon from her task, I often wondered what exactly she did with the bodies, but the greater part of me would never ask out loud for fear of her answer. I knew we would have to move on soon, our killing spree had almost reached its climax. We rarely ventured into the small town, Charlotte and Daniel's home was ideally alone, set back deep into the mountains. Through traffic was not common here and the only human contact we had experienced so far was that of our victims. 

Pushing my hand back through my tousled hair I stepped back into the house, Charisma stepped through the front door, her face alight with satisfaction, her blood was pumping wildly throughout her body, the flow heavier than before, thicker and fresher. I hated the fact that my mind felt instantly drawn to her, my body responded at the very sight of her. I knew it was the animal inside me that she appealed to and there were no signs of him leaving me. Her mouth twisted into a evil smile, her fiery eyes burned with lust and passion as I looked up to see her stood before me, her hands creeping about my waist.  
"Wasn't she divine my love?" Closing my eyes I hated the fact that the words about to leave me were spoken of nothing but truth.  
"She was pure and innocent Charisma, and god help me I wanted every last drop of her, I could feel her blood coming alive inside me"  
Stepping back lightly she cupped my cheek, almost in a tender embrace, her action caused me to falter and gasp, there was nothing loving and gentle about our joining. Looking up in what could only be described as shock I caught her gaze and remained silent and still.  
"Edward please give the guilt a rest! We are what we are; you can't continue to battle against it, what we do...it's natural" 

I was both disgusted and I agreed with what she was saying. It was within our nature to kill, to feed, and just like any other predator we preyed on the weak and lesser species, it just so happened that they were humans.  
"Does your conscience not speak to you Charisma? Is there no guilt or regret that attacks you? We're not just feeding! We're killing too! Charisma we are killers and it doesn't slow, if anything our feeding as become more frequent, our victims younger and younger. Surely that must induce some feeling of shame!"  
I watched as she turned her back to me, her mane of hair swinging about as she stormed off towards the veranda. Waiting until she had stopped, her hands settled against the wooden structure, keeping a safe distance I positioned myself behind her, sucking back against the fragrance of her sweeping around me.  
"Charisma I can't deal with it! Every time we feed, each execution we make effects me more and more, I feel as though I'm going insane, I see them constantly, feel their pain consuming me"  
She spoke to me, her back still turned as I felt the ice in her voice stab against me.  
"So what would you suggest then Edward? I cannot and will not stop, a diet of animals is not something I envisioned for myself, and neither is a life of craving"  
I wished that I could hear her now, my mind desperately pushed against her barriers, I could feel them faltering slightly, and her emotions were taking over. My brow creasing as I reached out for her, the connection I shared with Charisma ran deeper than anything I'd ever felt before, there had to be a way around this.  
Spinning to face me, her expression held nothing but disappointment.

"Charisma please! Please try and understand, I've lived most of my life as human, my only link to my darker side lay within my hunting and feeding of animals. But you...you've lived this way for hundreds of years, you can't tell me that it wasn't difficult to accustom yourself at first"

"No Edward I can't tell you that, but what I can tell you is I've accepted what I am, all I've ever wanted is to share it with someone, not to be alone"  
I almost sensed weakness within her now, a rare glimpse of venerability exuded from her.  
"I want to be that person for you, please believe me Charisma, I really do. But I can't do it in the way you want me to. The way we live...it's not something I can deal with or grow to deal with"  
Stepping back away from me the fragile exterior I had briefly experienced quickly dispersed as her eyes smouldered with hate, her voice spoken with pure venom.  
"Well then my love it would appear we have a problem"


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you for following this story and for all your inspiring comments **

Edwards Pov... 

In the past four weeks Charisma had spiralled further and further out of my control, the hunting for human prey had become sporadic, any reign I had over her were now lost. We hardly communicated, the only time there was any contact between us was those moments after her feeding, when she came to me desperate for another sense of relief.  
I waited until she was preoccupied before hunting for myself, my pre existing diet of wild animals had taken place once again, although the only good thing about being where we were was the wide selection in choice, Forks never did offer much in the way of satisfactory feeding.  
Stepping through the door I wiped my mouth clean, remnants of the Elk's blood stained my lips, I didn't want Charisma seeing that...although she'd know! I couldn't keep my new eating habits from her, she wasn't often far from my mind, and I mean that in the literal sense. I could hear her voice echoing about me as I raced through the wilderness in search of a fraction of satisfaction. She would deliberately share her gratification in the taste of human blood with me. I was like a child learning to function once again; every second of every day was spent battling with myself, with my yearning for human substance. 

I often thought back to my inner struggle before all of this, I had thought it tough, my life and surroundings tempting me to stray. But now! With this desperate urge to weaken and loose myself once more, I realised that what I thought a struggle before was merely the calm before the storm.  
As I looked about the darkened room the silence concerned me, she had only fed this morning and the only time she left was to hunt, we didn't exactly mix with the locals. Cautiously stepping about the front room I wiped the back of my hand once again across my mouth, touching my fingers lightly over the stone surface of the dining table as I worked my way around it closer to the bedroom, the door ajar I slipped through the gap, my gaunt body aching as it brushed lightly against the doorframe, my sudden diet change hadn't done my health and strength any favours.  
I noticed the room dimly lit as was normal, Charisma lay on the bed, the light of candles flickering against her thigh, her body scantly covered by a black silk nightdress. Regardless of how I felt about her choices, her way of life...that vision of her stirred something inside me, something I couldn't ignore. 

Looking up she smiled, running the tip of her tongue slowly across her lower lip, reaching out her hand brushed against the velvety bedcover.  
"Why don't you come and join me lover? I'm feeling in the mood for my dessert"  
Gripping onto the door handle I raised my other hand, tugging urgently at the front of my hair, a loan groan escaped me and I knew that her offer couldn't be resisted, no matter how weak I felt from my lack of substance, walking away from her wasn't something I could do.  
"Oh come on Edward, it's been at least 24 hours since you felt me" I watched as she teasingly trailed her forefinger up her stomach, the material of her nightdress slipping up her body.  
Gritting down my teeth I swept across the room, discarding my clothes as I threw myself on top of her, not allowing her chance to take control, although she seemed to be enjoying my domination. Her body arched up against me, the feeling of her breasts rubbing against my bare chest, just the slip of material breaking full contact. Pushing my hand down her stomach I roughly tore at the material, growling as I felt my fingers brush over her skin. A low hiss left her mouth as she nipped against my throat, her teeth grazing me. Reaching forwards I gripped her wrists, pinning them above her head as I felt myself growing hard against her thigh.  
"Mmmm Edward your ready for me aren't you? All hard and yearning release inside me"  
Locking my jaw over her neck I grunted wildly, pushing my body up against her, the feeling of my hard member slipping deep inside her warmth caused my body to tremble. Lifting her legs she wrapped them tight about me, rocking her hips back and forth as I pushed deeper still, feeling her muscles contracting about me.  
Freeing her hands I felt her nails dragging down my back, stopping as she sunk them into my hips, my body now moving with speed, determination and power on top of her. Reaching up I curled my hands over the headboard, pounding into her as she screamed my name.  
Finally my release came as I flowed deep inside her, the only warmth I had trickling down between us as she whimpered and moaned, loosening her grip on me.  
Laying back I pulled her against me, tangling my fingers through her hair and as I lay there I felt...nothing! No tenderness, no feeling, no love. Just emptiness, no matter how deep routed my physical wanting and need for her was, at the end of it all there was nothingness, just a hollow desperation.  
Her nails now traced a pattern over my lower stomach as she purred "that was just what I needed, Edward you satisfy my craving for passion and pleasure, now shall we satisfy our other need?"  
Shaking my head I pulled away, throwing her from me as I stood and pulled up my pants, stepping toward the window I looked out over the snowy landscape before me. Resting my hands against the window frame I kept my back to her as I felt her moving about the room, dressing with eagerness. Her voice drifted over to me as she prepared to leave the room.  
"Sort it out Edward! Whatever it is going on in your messed up head! Sort it out! Because honestly this is becoming very boring and my patience is running thin"  
The cool brush of air hit my back as she retreated; keeping my gaze ahead I watched the tree's shudder as she swept through them. I realised that was the last time I would ever feel her pleasure it was my final release.  
We had just said goodbye.


	21. Chapter 21

Edwards's pov...

My weakened state caused the long journey home to be painful and torturous, I hadn't taken anything after fleeing, and the lack of money haltered me and meant that I had to complete a large majority of it by foot. I don't know what had convinced me going back to Forks was the best decision I could make, the onslaught of lectures and questions I would face was inevitable. Where else would I have gone though? Who else could help me other than my family!  
Crossing the Washington border I could sense the closeness of home, the scent lingering in the air familiar and almost comforting to me. I had no desire to see Bella, she had barely crossed my mind since my departure, but now as I felt the prickle of human scent cling to my taste buds my mind drifted to her delicate warmth, the fragile state of need she projected. Shaking my head I pushed the images from my mind, my pace had slowed and I felt my frailty increasing every mile I travelled. I hadn't realised quite how dependant on human blood I had become over the past few weeks, and now without it...my body was screaming from within. 

A faint rustle in a nearby bush caught my attention, stopping I held onto the sturdy worn pine tree to my left, my senses alert as the cracking of dry leaves sounded, it was a light footed animal, perhaps deer and although the thought of feeding on such a unsatisfactory source repulsed me, I couldn't afford to be picky. Crouching down low I waited, my many years of hunting alert prey paid off as the deer edged closer, sniffing against the damp ground in search of its own food. Unknown to my presence it stepped before me and only when my teeth sunk through the flesh against its thick neck did it allow a cry.  
Dropping the lifeless, heavy body of the deer to the ground I resumed my journey and found myself basking in relief as I caught sight of a shard of light pouring through the trees, my bedroom window had always projected the most brilliant spectrum of colours when the sun caught at it this time of day. I could feel my body failing me as I stepped closer, reaching out I touched my fingertips against the solid glass of the front porch, my body relaxing instantly as the familiarity grasped me. 

My unusually empty mind was suddenly abuzz with thoughts, Esme was tidying my room, for the second time that week, she felt closer to me in there, and it was the last room in the house where my scent still lingered. Carlisle was in his study, book open and frozen on the same page it had been on for the past 4 hours, he had been attempting to distract himself from guessing where I could possibly had gone, he'd already paid Tanya and her colony a visit, of course this had been fruitless.  
Emmett and Rosalie were out hunting, Jasper was consoling Alice, she felt helpless my disappearing had driven her close to insanity and her thoughts a muddle of concern, distress and desperation. The guilt surged through me as I hesitated, unsure on whether to enter or turn and run, they'd get over the loss of me eventually, this was just a mourning process, something every human had to deal with, why not vampires too? But ours wasn't a usual situation.  
Before I could debate my future any longer, I was in her arms, the warming scent of Alice engulfing me as she wept softly, hands laced about the back of my un kept hair as I allowed her strength to comfort me, the weight of my body collapsed against her as she stood firmly and soothed me.  
"Edward it's ok, you came home to us and everything's going to be just fine, we'll take care of you brother, I'm never letting you go again"  
I felt relief at having the closeness of another being, the only contact I had recently had been the cold harshness of Charisma, and that had been for only one pleasure; she gave no more than that. I couldn't include the warmth of our victims, nothing about that had been comforting, satisfying perhaps but nothing that induced a feeling of comfort.  
Eseme and Carlisle quickly gathered behind Alice, Jasper halted at the top of the stairs, he was concerned about Alice's safety, He no longer trusted me, and I can't say that I blamed him. Esme was next to pull me into a firm embrace, her tears un-silent as they tumbled down her porcelain face.  
"Oh Edward, my son, my dear, dear son, look at the state of you! Have you fed? When did you last feed? Oh Edward where have you been?"  
Carlisle reached out and placed a reassuring hand on Esme's shoulder, his voice as calming and soothing as I remembered it.  
"Esme, love give him space, you can see his distress and bombarding him with a million questions won't help right now"  
I smiled toward him grateful for the interruption, his face softened with love and a deep routed concern, I noticed his eyes sweep over me, taking in my weakened state, I wasn't surprised over the look of shock on everyone's face when Esme finally released me and I stood unaided, my body to fragile to hold itself as I leaned against the doorframe.  
Jasper's distrust instantly forgotten as I felt his body reaching forwards, supporting me, his arm held about my waist as I managed a weak smile. I couldn't concentrate on one thought alone, their heads were nothing but a flurry of questions and my mind wasn't functioning accurately enough to home in on any one particular thought. I allowed Jasper to guide me towards the lounge, he gently pushed me down onto the crisp white leather couch as Carlisle knelt before me, his hand rested over mine as I clasped them together, leaning forwards, my head dropped. He spoke slowly, not wanting to overload my buzzing mind.  
"Edward, my son can you tell me where you've been?" I looked up and met with his gaze, running my tongue over my parched mouth as my words struggled free, I hardly recognised my voice as a throaty response left me.  
"Alaska, I'm...I'm not even sure how long we were there for, I mean...how long have I been gone?" 

I felt Alice sit beside me as the couch dropped, her hand rested on my thigh as she whispered lightly. "You've been gone for almost a month Edward, I tried to locate you, but I couldn't do it, I failed you and I hope that you can forgive me"  
My eyes came alive now as I shifted to face her, placing my finger beneath her chin as I lifted her to face me, her sullen gaze sent a pained feeling through me.  
"Alice you have never failed me, nor will you ever. If anything I failed you...all of you. I honestly don't know what happened to me, but I lost all control of myself, something darker took over and even now I'm not sure if there is much of the Edward you knew left"  
It was Esme's turn now as I felt her hand touch against the back of my head, her fingers gently massaging against my neck.  
"Edward you will always be our son, the man that we have grown to cherish, love and be proud of with every last part of our existence. No inner demon can ever take him away from us"  
I looked about me, my family gathered around, the structures supporting me and I realised I hadn't needed Charisma after all; everything I had needed was here all along. As I prepared to request some privacy with Carlisle, the front door flew open and Rosalie pulled me into a tight hold, her hands clasped firmly across my back. Pulling away her eyes glared with passion towards me, her voice spoke with meaning.  
"Don't you ever do that to us again! I'm not letting you out of my sight, do you hear me?"  
I watched as Emmett pulled her back against his body, her frantic gaze softened as she felt his arms encase around her.  
"She was worried brother, we all were"  
Nodding understandingly I turned to Carlisle and for the first time since stepping foot back inside my home, allowed his thoughts to enter me.  
_"Edward we need to talk, come down to the study" _  
With that he swept from the room, leaving me to carry myself at a human pace behind him. Even though Carlisle's human years weren't much older than my own, I respected his need for privacy and knocked lightly on the solid rustic oak door.  
"Come in son"  
I pushed open the door and stepped inside; pulling out the brown leather chair in front of his desk I sat down and resisted the urge to slump back, his concern for me was strong enough without me displaying my weakness deliberately.  
"Carlisle I don't know where to begin! Everything I've done, it's horrific"  
"Start at the beginning Edward, take it slow and tell me everything"  
I sucked in the taste of dank air as my eyes closed, opening them again slowly, I wasn't sure that I could admit everything to myself...How could I begin to tell the one person I owed my only scrap of decency to, that I had gone against everything he had spent so long installing into me. How could I tell him of the monster I had become?


	22. Chapter 22

_I apologise for the lack of update for so long...life kinda caught up with me...thank you for sticking with this story._

Edwards Pov...  
I sat watching, waiting for an expression that I might recognise, I deliberately stayed clear of his head, it was only fair to allow his thoughts privacy whilst he digested the onslaught of information I had set upon him. There was nothing, just nothing. Standing I prepared to leave, Carlisle was obviously in need of time.  
"Edward wait"  
His voice echoed across the room as I turned back to face him, I felt nothing but shame and guilt, telling Carlisle of my actions was the hardest thing I'd ever had to face, and now as I looked over his sullen eyes I knew he was hurt and disappointed, doing that to him wasn't something I enjoyed, no matter how deep routed the evil might be inside me, I respected Carlisle, I always had and always would.  
"Son...what you did, it was horrific and yes I am hurt, but more than that I'm disappointed"  
Looking towards the floor I tugged nervously at the back of my hair, I wanted to look up, I owed him that much...to face my guilt head on, but it felt almost as though a greater force was preventing me. 

"Edward we've all faced challenges in life, I've been tempted to stray myself"  
This shocked me enough to bring my gaze up to meet his, I knew Carlisle had secrets and darkness in his life, His time with the Volturi had been colourful to say the least, but never had I once thought He had strayed from the path he had set his life to. I held myself still, had I been breathing I would have held it.  
"Yes Edward you heard me right! A long time ago...before the Volturi I had nothing, my life was hollow, I was lonely Edward and the only thing that seemed to give me a sense of closeness and satisfaction was taking comfort in blood. It started off just a way of survival, I didn't prey on helpless innocence, but then...then I She found me and everything changed"  
I watched his gaze fall, palms rested flat against the cool surface of his glass desk as He refused to meet my eyes, I could sense his shame and guilt filling the room as I waited, and I knew he would continue eventually.  
"She took advantage of me Edward, just like Charisma did you. She saw my weakness and exploited it, she didn't love me and I was too weak to realise it then. All I saw was an opportunity to no longer be alone and that was a very attractive prospect to me" 

His voice was shaky and mumbled as he continued. 

"Half a decade I spent Edward, following her about, being her puppet whilst she controlled my every move. I almost completely lost myself and I'd have never found a way back again"  
It was up to me to speak now; his confession had willed me too.  
"I don't know what happened Carlisle, there was nothing left that I recognised and it scared me because...I enjoyed it! Every last second of everything I had done and I wanted more. How did you stop? I mean, how did you forgive yourself and become the person you are today?"  
He had moved beside me now, his hand rested reassuringly against my shoulder, I couldn't quite work out who he was trying to comfort more. I quickly realised though that it didn't matter.  
"I can't tell you that Edward; it's something you need to figure out for yourself. The one thing I can tell you is that your capable of so much, you've such potential, you may not realise it but, you've already proved you are. I always admired your strength and willpower, especially when it came to Bella; you just lost your way son"  
Before I could question him any further he was gone, leaving me reflecting on what I had done, the choices I'd made and the deadly consequences of them. 

I could hear the thoughts of Jasper as he consoled Alice, she was still blaming herself, and I'd never known such a tender and delicate being as Alice. Her family meant the world to her, like myself she felt her "gift" was nothing but an invasion of her mind, hearing what people were thinking was bad enough, I don't know how she coped with knowing what they were going to do before they'd even thought it.  
Being alone with Alice wasn't something I had been relishing the thought of, but she needed it, She needed so desperately for me to make her understand what had happened wasn't her fault, I had to make her believe she wasn't responsible for the path I had taken.  
Waiting outside of the cool glass exterior of their bedroom door I thought as to what I would say, how I could make her understand why I'd left, why I had abandoned my family, and Bella! She would want to talk about Bella. Carlisle had been tactile in his conversation, careful not to mention her to much, but I knew I'd not get away with the same relief with Alice.

I caught Jaspers eye as he departed from the room, words were not necessary as his thoughts echoed out to me.

_"Go easy with her, she's delicate Edward"_

Nodding I waited until Jasper had left the house, He couldn't deal with the possibility of hearing Alice upset, He knew whatever I had to tell her would be nothing short of horrific, after all his time before our family had been violent, blood lustful and destructive, He knew exactly what to expect, but Alice...sweet Alice had no idea, she'd spent no time in her Vampire state outside the security of our nest.  
Her sweet voice drifted over to me as I leant against the doorframe, my weakened body barely holding me up.  
"Why don't you try coming in Edward?"  
I didn't have the energy for this, but it was something I couldn't avoid, she needed to know and I'm sure there were questions she wanted to ask me. I sat down gently on the edge of her antique four poster bed, Jasper and Alice didn't require a bed of course, but she liked tradition. Turning slowly I caught her gaze, amber eyes smouldering softly as she turned her position on the bed to face me. I was silenced suddenly as she put her hand up between us, resting it gently against my thigh. 

"I know Edward; you don't need to tell me, because I know"  
My brows furrowed as I concentrated on the distant look in her eyes, her usual cheery exterior dispersed before my eyes.  
"Alice how...how could you know? I mean...I guess I know how but, I didn't feel you linking in to me"  
"Edward I never left your mind, that's why you couldn't feel me, there wasn't one second from the moment you left, that I wasn't linked to your mind, your actions. Everything you did, said...tasted, I experienced it before you'd had"  
Nothing could have prepared me for what Alice told me, I knew how deeply she connected with people's choices and actions, and knowing that only made it worse.  
"I'm so sorry, Alice I...I don't know what to say! How did you deal with it? I mean you must have told..."  
"No Edward, I didn't tell Jasper or Carlisle, I didn't tell any of them. I was ashamed for you, how could I even begin to have put it into words? I couldn't, it was easier to bury it deep within me and try to forget"

The room was spinning; every monstrous thing I had done was surfacing, the evil almost fighting against me, desperate to surface once more. Blinking wildly I caught hold of Alice's hand as she moved closer to me, her fingers held tightly onto mine. I didn't know what was happening; everything inside me felt like it was pulling, like a magnetic force of energy. Standing, almost from a will that wasn't my own, I stepped closer to the open window, lifting my head slightly as the windswept before me, the distant sounds of car engines, shoppers busying themselves in town, and then...I could hear it, the sound faint, yet screaming. It was a sound very familiar to me...it was...Bella!

_"Edward, I need you, if you can hear me please...help me"_


	23. Chapter 23

Edwards Pov...

My head was spinning, the room almost shrinking away from me as her cry's echoed about the room; I wasn't sure if Alice could hear it too, or if it were just me. Some kind of infinite connection Bella had to me, whatever the cause it didn't matter, she needed me.

I turned sharply to see Alice blinking furiously, her hands gripped against the edge of the bed, her knuckles swelling beneath their soft skin.

I knew that look, the posture of her body. Racing over I knelt before her, the uneasy atmosphere between us now forgotten. I placed my hands over hers in an attempt to comfort her, reassure her that I was there. Looking up I held my gaze over her face.

"Alice what is it? What do you see?"

She looked down at me; her body swaying slightly, her eyes struggled to focus on me as a dry raspy reply fell from her parched lips."Edward its Bella, she's there! Edward she has Bella"Nothing could prepare me for the intense feeling of panic that overwhelmed me now, standing I looked down at Alice, her face ashen.

Her mind was open and the images flashed clear across my head, Bella's heartbeat pounding, her every breath laboured, the flow of her blood increased wildly, the fear exuding from her was immense, I couldn't see past her face, but I really didn't need to. I knew what the cause of Bella's fear was, and she was targeting me through Bella. Alice finally spoke, clearing the silence.

"What are you going to do Edward?"

"I don't know, and I don't have the time to discuss it" Gripping hold of the window frame I positioned myself to exit the room; Alice swiftly moved and placed her hand restrainingly on my shoulder.

"It's her Edward! You shouldn't go alone, she's stronger then you, faster. Please don't do this again, don't run away from the people that can help you. Edward please...let me and Jasper come with you" Keeping my back turned against her I closed my eyes and waited.

"You've already made your mind up, you're going to go and nothing I say is going to change that. I really hope you know what you're doing! Because honestly...if anything happens to you, or to Bella it'll destroy our family, think of Eseme, think of Charlie! Edward surely your pride isn't as important as the safety of you both"

Turning briefly to face her I struggled to keep my cool, panic setting in as I remembered just what Charisma was capable of, the cruel and violent behaviour she so easily displayed. But wasn't it enough that Bella's life was at risk? I couldn't put any of them in danger too. My words came out in a low growl as I shrugged my shoulder away from her.

"Let me go Alice, this is something I have to do alone"

I left before she could halter me any longer, Bella was running out of time, although I knew Charisma wouldn't do anything...not until I was there, she was doing this for attention, my attention and now she had claimed it. I had no idea how I would deal with this situation, when I left Charisma I guess the thought of what she might do didn't really cross my mind. I was concentrating solely on how my family would react at my return, now as I journeyed in a frenzied panic to Bella, I realised how naive I'd been. Of course Charisma would want revenge.

She wouldn't target my family, their strength would prove too much of an unwelcomed challenge to her. No, with Bella she had a guaranteed easy access to my emotions, even if I still hadn't come to terms with how I now felt about Bella and our relationship, Charisma knew that I'd sooner die then see any harm come to her.

I halted outside the white rustic house, Charlie's car was nowhere in sight, but of course it wasn't, Charisma wouldn't want anything interfering with her torturous plans. I couldn't hear Bella now; perhaps it was Alice that allowed me to hear her cries for help. Now looking up at the window to her bedroom, my mind travelled back to happier memories of when I'd swept through it, pulling her into my embrace. This time would be different though, No happy greeting lay in wait, and there was nothing but fear and uncertainty.

Resting my hand against the familiar tree I bent my legs and leapt up into the branches, swinging across and into the awaiting darkness, her breathing broke the silence and as my eyes adjusted to the dim atmosphere I stumbled back as my gaze fell over the sight before me.


	24. Chapter 24

Thank you so much for your patience, I know it's taken me quite some time to update, and they have been slow of late. I'm sure you can all appreciate that real life does have a habit of taking over sometimes. Hope you enjoy this update.

Edwards Pov...

The whole of my surroundings seemed to stand still, every air particle settled and silent as I struggled to digest the vision that was being taken in by my blackening eyes. Bella was trembling before me, the loose grey sweat pants hanging from her tiny frame, her breasts ample as the material of a black vest top clung to her. Her hand rested against the old worn work desk, fingers extended as they touched against the small lamp which cast a glow about her, a shadow falling over the wall behind her, but it wasn't only Bella's silhouette... there was something far more predatory, almost consuming her reflection.

I almost dared not move any closer, the details of her face were hidden beneath a cloak of darkness, that familiar scent swept over my every sense, setting me on edge, just as it had done so many times before now. The difference this time was that it held no control over me; I could feel the pull, but somewhere deep inside I found the will.

Shaking my head as I clenched my fists and stepped closer, breaking the distance. Bella's breathing increased as I neared, the last time we'd had any contact was when I happily broke her heart and shattered her world, the hurt and resentment showed clearly in her eyes. She looked... almost unwell, her skin hollow and etched with tiredness, her usually shiny chestnut hair now hung limp and dull over her shoulders. Had I done this to her? Had I turned her into a lifeless existence of her former self.

"So nice of you to join us Edward, I take it little Miss Swan's pathetic cries for help caught your attention"

That sound, her voice! It drifted over me, licking about my ears like a velvety wave. Up until this moment I even thought I'd missed it... but now, it was nothing but a tune of misery and horror, I detested its sound, menace and meaning lay behind every word she uttered.

I moved away from the window, my legs shaking and weak as I stepped closer to Bella, I could feel her heartbeat, it echoed about the room at a dangerously fast pace. Charisma's grip over her tightened, her arm slung carelessly around Bella's tiny waist, her other arm snaked about her neck, a hand pushed up against the side as she held it firmly against her mouth, every breath Bella took caused a frenzied attack of wanting to pulsate through Charisma.

I stood helpless as she flicked out her tongue, moaning as she licked along Bella's neck, the tears threatening to fall, overflowed from Bella's eyes as she winced.

"Mmmm Edward, she tastes delectable I can't quite believe you resisted the temptation for so long"

Edging closer I dropped my gaze to the hard wooden floor beneath me, the vision of Bella being violated like that made me feel nothing short of sick. My shoulders hunched I wore a look of distress as I finally looked up, meeting Charisma's cool glare as she retracted her tongue and licked across her mouth slowly.

"This has nothing to do with her! You came here for me! You wanted me, and here I am, just...just let her go!"

I recognised the flash of anger that was now emblazoned across her eyes as she carelessly pulled Bella backwards, her arm locked around her neck tighter as I saw Bella gasp and shudder. Her voice spat out at me, filled with pure venom.

"What do you mean nothing to do with her? It has everything to do with her! I mean... isn't she the reason you came back? The reason you left me..."

I understood now, this was a side to Charisma she very rarely showed. It wasn't just about "The kill" not about just another random slaughter. This time was different, she was acting out of pain and sadness, granted it was the most twisted and evil way of showing emotion, but none the less... she was showing that she felt pain and loss.

Lowering my voice as I attempted to sooth her panic with my words, I held my hand up as mock surrender and closed the gap between us further.

"You've got it wrong Charisma; I didn't leave you to come back for Bella"

I noticed the look of fear on Bella's face turn to one of shock and rejection. Charisma blinked and searched my face for further answers.

"You didn't?"

"No I didn't! I left you because of you! Because of the way you wanted us to live. I know what I am Charisma! I've always known that, but you tried to make me something else, something worse. I can't just take away life like you so easily do, I feel guilt and shame!"

She couldn't comprehend my words; they didn't make sense to her sadistic mind, I felt slightly more at ease however, when her grip around Bella's neck loosened. Looking over Bella's face I wished more than I ever had, that right at this moment I could read her thoughts that I could communicate with her somehow. I couldn't allow my thoughts to open though; Charisma would surely be searching for a way in.

"So you just left! No word of explanation, nothing! Did you not think that I deserved that Edward?"

Biting back a growl I gripped against the edge of the table, my fingers sinking into the sturdy exterior.

"Actually no! I didn't think you deserved any kind of explanation. Honestly I don't even know what you expected from me! Did you have some sick idea that we could settle down, like a normal couple? Maybe start our own little family?"

My words caused a new light of anger to smoulder in her eyes, something I'd never seen in her before and it struck a higher level of fear, a fear over what she might do next. Her mouth inched closer to Bella's neck, I had to change tactic and fast, I could sense her control deteriorating and there would be nothing stopping her from draining the life from Bella right here and now.

Pushing my hand up through my already tussled hair I made a decision that could change everything, but it was all I had left.

Looking up I allowed my eyes to sweep over Bella's neck, the throbbing vein was pulsating at a rapid rate, visible beneath the surface of her milky skin. Her breasts subtle and firm, rising and falling beneath the thin material of her vest with every deep breath she took. And the flow of her blood was pumping wildly throughout her body, the saliva built up towards the back of my throat and the severe pulling of hunger and need was spreading through me, I recognised this feeling, I knew the signs and the temptation was almost too much to stand.

I was within reach of her now, the scent of her blood licked over me, my thirst had never been so overwhelming, I couldn't control my actions any longer, I felt like a magnet being drawn in by her.

Snarling slightly as I noticed charisma's teeth bare, glinting in the low light. Gliding behind her I nuzzled against the nape of her neck, taking in the flavour of her, my hands snaking about her waist as my fingers glided over every delicious curve. She was excited; the feeling of me so close, my hands travelling down her stomach as they rested above her sensitivity caused a low moan to trickle from her lips.

"Mmmm I missed your touch lover"

The sound of her pleasure only excited me further, my senses going wild as I slid my hand up her waist, following the outline of her breast as it stopped against her neck, brushing her main of hair aside I leaned closer, my lips passing her skin as my gaze moved forwards, resting against the side of Bella's neck. Licking swiftly over my lips I whispered lightly, my hand pushing further forward as I rested it against her throat.

"And what are we going to do with this delightful creature?"

A low, throaty laugh left Charisma as she stepped aside, leaving me pressed against Bella's trembling body. The feeling of her warmth against me caused a different set of feelings, my whole being was shaking, my lips parting slightly as I pressed my moutht against the hollow where her neck met with her shoulder, the smell was intoxicating now, like a deep set poison ready to settle in my body.

Charisma obviously jealous and not willing to miss out on any of the action, swept in front of me again, pushing her coldness between us. Reaching behind Charisma took grip of my hands, bringing them up and over her waist, drawing one hand up her body once more, resting it against Bella's neck. Her voice thick and dry as she purred to me.

"We are going to do something you should have done a long time ago Edward, we are going to drain every last drop of life from her pitiful body"

Stroking my fingers back and forth against Bella's tingled skin I realised what I had to do, everything in my life had been leading up to this moment and I had to let everything go, forget about my family and how they felt, forget about Bella's fear and Charisma's influence... I had to satisfy myself, and that's just what I was about to do.


	25. Chapter 25

Edwards Pov...

Encasing my fingers around her throat I couldn't resist the urge to squeeze lightly, the feeling of her choking breath pumping beneath my fingers stirred pleasure within me. Charisma grew increasingly excited, I could feel her body tensing and then relaxing, I could almost taste her internal excitement. Leaning forwards I licked against her neck, my tongue tingling as she engulfed my taste buds, a deep sensation burned inside me as I arched Bella's head back, her face twisted to the side, exposing the fleshy white tender skin to her neck. Charisma's voice broke the deathly silence as her words drifted over me.

"Do it lover, taste her, and lose yourself in her"

My lips parted as my control slipped further and further away, I pushed myself forwards toward her scent, her body shuddered as my lips brushed over her milky flesh, stuttered words fell from her lips as she pleaded with me.

"Nnnn...No Edward! You, don't... you don't need to do this, it's me Bella! You'd never hurt me"

Charismas hand clamped over her mouth suddenly, her nails digging into the tender skin of Bella's cheek as she hissed.

"You know nothing of his wants and hunger Isabella, you think you do...but you don't! How could you possibly! He is another species, powerful, unique, and indestructible. And you're nothing but a weak, pathetic, useless human"

Her sadistic laugh echoed about the room "well you're not entirely useless, as Edward is about to prove"

The exchange between them caused a mixture of feelings within me. Bella's pleas shook the caring sensitive side to me; I felt my resistance tugging against the killer in me. However Charisma's words only caused the willingness to disintegrate, everything she said was true. I had once thought our kind worthless, dirty insignificant creatures. But with the help of Charisma I saw our strength, power and worth. Humans weren't the superior beings I had once thought, in fact they were at the very bottom of the food chain, no better than the animals I had hunted.

I felt the dull ache in my fangs, their need to pierce through her flesh was overbearing and I couldn't hold back any longer, this was my time, my chance to for fill everything that my existence had been leading up to. Encasing my lips over the pulsating vein buried beneath its soft protective covering I savoured the moment, slowly sinking the tip of my weapons in, her moans and whimpers of pain and fear caused me to hold back, I had to prolong it.

Charisma turned between us, her hand gripping against my hardness as she tugged against it, her mouth sucking wantingly against my neck, the feeling of her had been missed by my body and I couldn't stop myself from taking pleasure in every touch.

The taste of Bella licked about my teeth, I was careful not to penetrate her completely, using the very little control I had left as my tongue darted over the surface of her skin. I could sense her confusion as she felt my tenderness.

Charisma grew increasingly frustrated at my lack of possession over Bella, her hand loosened around me, her mouth retracted back as her words brushed against my ear.

"Edward do not test my patience! Either you do it now, or I will. And I promise you, the latter will not be pleasant"

A low growl escaped me as I lowered my hands down from Bella's neck, my teeth now completely released from her as I felt her body relax slightly she felt the pressure of blood slowing down. Not wanting to show my release I held my mouth securely about the soft area of skin I had chosen.

Her patience finally snapped, Charisma turned suddenly, I felt my body being pushed back, my mouth withdrawing involuntarily from Bella as Charisma moved to replace my mouth with hers, fangs already exposed as she moaned at the sight of blood trailing down Bella's back.

Acting quickly I pushed my hands off Bella's hips, moving backwards, I couldn't afford to make any mistakes, to act slowly. Speed was of the essence; otherwise this would all end horribly.

My actions sleek and smooth as I curled my fingers about her neck, pushing one hand further up as it gripped just beneath her jaw line. The immediate struggle did not surprise me, Bella managed to escape free from her grasp as I looked past her towards Bella's cowering state in the corner of the room, her eyes wide and filled with both shock and fear as I tightened my grip around Charisma's neck. I could feel the flow of blood pumping furiously throughout Charisma's body, her struggle becoming less and less strong.

"You were right about one thing Charisma. She doesn't know anything of my wants and needs... but neither do you! From the very first moment I laid eyes on you, my whole world was turned upside down." My grip tightened as I lifted her head away from her shoulders slightly.

"You honestly believed that I would thank you for that? That I'd be grateful for you tainting everything good I had, that I'd be happy with you undoing all of the goodness I've put into my life?"

I could feel her muscles tearing as I pulled harder, the sound of cracking sounded beneath my hands as they locked even tighter. I could just about make out her struggled cry as I tugged one final time.

"Eddddwarrrr..." Not allowing her voice to affect me any longer I pulled up and back, the feeling of gravity against my hands as her body crumbled before me, landing at my feet, her head disintegrating in my hands.

I could feel my body shaking at the action I'd just carried out, the only sound in the room came from Bella's trembling body as she struggled to breath, the sound of her heartbeat penetrated me as I stepped forwards, holding out my hand towards her I was unsure if any trust remained but I had to hope that it did. She reached out a shaking hand as I encased it within my own, pulling her gently forwards as she stood before me. Her eyes looked past me toward the remains of Charisma as they lay in a mass on the floor.

"You...you killed her Edward"

Nodding I stepped back, thrust my hands in my pockets as I looked away from her and out of the window.

"Yes, I did, I really didn't have much of a choice though"

I could feel her gaze, hopeful and pleading as it bore into me, I heard her move closer as her tone lowered, her voice almost as if she were soothing a young child.

"Edward we can start again, we can make everything good. I know that you want to be happy, you want to be loved. I can move back, or you could come to Washington with me. We'll escape all of this" She waved her hand over the room as I shifted to look despondently into her eyes.

"We can move on and be together, just you and me, Edward give us a chance to be happy"

I felt as though the room was encompassing me, the sound of her words drilled through me and I couldn't think straight. Everything she said was true; I did want happiness I wanted to make a life for myself. But I wasn't so sure anymore that I could achieve the right happiness with Bella.

"I can't do this right now Bella, I have to... I have to go" Looking again towards Charisma's remains I spoke through mumbled words.

"You know what to do?"

Nodding she picked up a box of matches. "I do"

Moving forwards I gripped hold of the window and swung out into the crisp air, calling behind me as I left.

"I'll be in touch Bella"


	26. Chapter 26

I just wanted to thank you all so much for your patience with this story. I know my updates have been few and far between, and I hope the ending doesn't disappoint you. Thank you so much for your lovely comments, it really spurred me to continue.

Edwards Pov...

Arriving home I found myself greeted by my whole family. Carlisle and Esme sat at the glass topped table in the large kitchen area, Emmett and Rosalie on the large cold leather sofa, Alice perched on the bottom step to the large winding staircase as Jasper stood at her side, his eyes fixed to the door as I entered through it. Looking up I met with Alice's eyes, her gaze softened as Carlisle moved towards me, his hands clasped in front of him.

"You made the right decision son"

I looked down, almost with shame and then back up to his gaze, tilting my head I moved my gaze towards Alice as she stood slowly, smoothing down her dress as she looked up at me, a reassured smile set against her mouth.

"I expected for you to show up Alice"

Her mouth lifted at the corner as cool, caring eyes looked back at me.

"I knew you'd do the right thing brother, I've always trusted you and that'll never change"

Nodding and returning her smile I directed myself towards Carlisle again, his stance superior and strong. He still held reservations about trusting me and I couldn't blame him for that. I'd let him down, let everyone down and now was a time to change I had to make sure that would never happen again.

Esme stepped before me and enclosed me in her arms, motherly instincts kicked in as she whispered against my shoulder.

"Carlisle has told me everything son, and I want you to know it doesn't change your place in this family. Your home now and that's all that matters. We'll support you Edward, you're not alone. We have all the time in the world to make it right"

Alice's soft voice called forwards suddenly.

"But we don't have all the time in the world, do we Edward?"

Esme released me and held me at arm's length, her warm, kind eyes held with my own as I felt guilt sweep through me.

"What does she mean Edward?"

Stepping away from her I walked towards the window, Emmett moved out of my path and stood at Rosalie's side. I finally found my voice as my hands placed against the window, my eyes taking in the expanse of wilderness that lay before me.

"She means that I won't be here for you to support me, I'm leaving. I'm leaving and I'm never coming back."

The reactions all differed as I heard Eseme gasp. Carlisle reached out and reassuringly took hold of her shoulder, He understood, knew what it was like to feel lost and unsure of what you are.

Alice's reaction was the most shocking of all. She understood completely, she knew it was the best decision for me and that I needed to find my own happiness.

Jasper was the first to break the silence.

"Where will go?"

Turning to face the varied expressions before me I met his gaze and shrugged.

"Honestly, I don't know. Maybe I'll spend some time with Tanya's family. Who knows, perhaps one day I'll come back with a family of my own. I do however know that this is the first time I've made such a clear decision. There is nothing for me here, nothing to continue on for"

Rosalie threw the most desired question at me next.

"And Bella? What about her? I mean, didn't you once protest she was your only reason to continue on?"

Moving myself slowly to face her I nodded, dropping my head towards the floor once more as I answered her.

"Yes, I did. But I got it wrong, I hid myself within her and it wasn't healthy. She can never be a part of my world, it was an unachievable fantasy and one day she will come to learn that too"

"And when exactly were you going to tell me that?"

Turning sharply I face Bella as she stood in the doorway, her shirt still stained from blood, the distress previously clear in her eyes was replaced by hurt and anger. Stepping forwards I watched as she moved back away, her hand held up between us in a defensive manor.

"No Edward. Don't! If you have any scrap of respect for me you'll just answer my question"

"Answer her son"

I looked towards Carlisle and then Bella.

"I couldn't face breaking your heart again! I want you to have a happy and good life Bella; you have the making to do wonderful things, to be someone that counts. I can't be the reason you let those opportunities go"

Shaking her head I watched as silent tears tumbled down her face.

"You always make the rules don't you Edward? Everything goes by your code of conduct, it doesn't matter how I feel or what I want. What you say goes!"

Alice stood beside her and laid a comforting arm around her shoulders as she soothed her.

"Bella, what he's saying ...its right! Deep down you know it too"

Emmett gripped against my shoulder as he squeezed lightly, his touch pulling my gaze away from Bella. I found myself being pulled towards his firm body as He patted my back.

"Take care bro, watch those vampires out there" Smiling I nodded and watched as Rosalie stepped into the gap he had now put between us, reaching out she took my hand within hers, rubbing her thumb over the back of mine, her words unusually tender.

"Stay in touch, and let me know if you need any female ass kicked" Winking she stepped back to Emmet's side as his arm slide about her waist.

It was Jasper that moved forward next, pushing his hand through his golden hair as he grinned at me.

"Be sure to remember everything I taught you brother, those newborns are crafty suckers" Lifting the corner of my mouth I took his extended hand and shook it thankfully.

Before I could move Alice threw herself forwards, curling my arms about her I savoured the embrace of my sister.

"Edward please take care of yourself, stay out of trouble and remember we will always be here for you. I love you"

Nodding slowly I returned her sentiment "I love you my darling sister"

Esme couldn't face letting go, she choked back a sob and ran from the room, her apology echoed behind her "I'm sorry... I... I can't"

My distress clear to see as Carlisle reached out and gripped my arm. "She'll be ok son, it's hard letting go of those that we love, I'll talk to her don't worry, just take care of yourself and don't be a stranger!"

I could feel the sadness building up inside me as I fought against it.

"I'm proud of you son, I've always been proud of you and I know that you're going to make me even prouder. I know that you're going to make something wonderful of your life"

Pulling me towards him I returned the loving exchange before shaking his hand and turning my gaze to Bella. Her face damp with tears as he wringed her hands together, not wanting to look up and face what was happening before her. Closing the gap between us I place one finger beneath her chin, tilting her head up, the pain shot through me as she blinked, her eyes containing a barrage of tears and pain.

"I only know happiness is possible because of you Bella, you're the reason that I know my life is worth living and I'll be eternally grateful to you for that. What we have can and will never be broken, I just hope that one day you'll come to realise as I have, that we just don't belong together. Nothing will change how much I love you though. Goodbye Bella"

I took one final look at the family and love that I was leaving behind as I swept from my home, the forest which once seemed a dull green, sparkled before my eyes as I watched everything with a new sense of meaning, Everything felt different and as I left the town of Forks behind I knew that this was merely the beginning of the rest of my existence and I had none to thank but the amazing souls I had shared my life with. I knew now that a soul wasn't something that could just be taken away, it was merely a light that sometimes dimmed within us, it just took a special kind of love to reignite it. And despite all of the deadly desires that had tempted me, I felt my soul come alive and now I truly believed in it, now I knew I would never let it be extinguished again.


End file.
